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Better to find out now than to keep on wasting your time.
By Emily Ratay — Last updated on Jan 17, 2023
If you ask pretty much everyone, being "friends with benefits" only works if you’re both on the same page about your relationship.
If one person thinks they have a chance of things getting serious and the other person is only in it for the sex, there’s a huge disconnect that will eventually ruin the dynamic.
Even more importantly, being used when you’re not aware of it can be heartbreaking. Instead of feeling like you matter, at least in some respect, you feel like all you are to the other person is a body they can use whenever they want.
You can say things like, “Well, I didn’t know they wanted something more, so it’s not my fault!” But, in reality, if you’re going to have a casual relationship with someone, you need to be upfront with them about it from the start. Heck, make rules if you have to so things don’t get complicated.
Luckily, there are other ways to find out what he really wants out of your relationship, without you pestering his friends about it or taking a chance and texting him that you love him.
Body language, on the other hand — all of those subtle, unconscious things he does in your presence — makes it that much easier to read him and his intentions with you.
Of course, like men, all zodiac signs are different, which means one sign’s behavior might be the polar opposite of another sign.
If you’re worried your guy might just be using you, the truth lies in understanding the red flags his zodiac sign is waving.
How to tell if a man is using you, based on his zodiac sign
Signs an Aries man is using you
Aries isn't exactly subtle when it comes to his feelings for someone, so don't be surprised if he says he only wants a casual relationship right away.
That said, this isn't his go-to way of letting you know it's only casual between you two.
Simply put, Aries will make you feel unimportant. Instead of being his destination, you will be more like a pit stop for him.
Look at it this way: if he plans on meeting his friends at 10 PM and thinks he can squeeze in some time with you first around 9ish, it's for sure a shallow move.
But if you don't mean a lot to him, then he's not going to pretend. At least you'll know.
Signs a Taurus man is using you
Taurus can be tricky to read, especially since he likes making all of his partners, casual or serious, feel good.
Casual relationships sometimes consist of dates and spending time outside of the bedroom, but with a Taurus, this is totally unheard of. It sounds almost too simple, but Taurus knows how to separate serious prospects from "just friends."
You know when Taurus is using you if he meets up with you at your place (his feels too personal), hooks up, and leaves. He may stay for a bit to chat or cuddle because doing that is in his nature, but don't expect him to ask you if you want to get a bite to eat or meet up over the weekend.
Taurus is pretty good at knowing who's going to be around for a long time early on in the relationship, so you'll know it, too.
Signs a Gemini man is using you
Gemini is great at communication and this is doubly true when it comes to people he's serious about. Because of this, it's common for Gemini to be in constant contact with you if he feels like he has a future with you.
If he is only using you, he'll never text you, period.
Texting and calling seem too personal for Gemini, and he'll want to make sure that he maintains a certain distance from you if all he wants is something casual.
If you're not already going to be at the same party or somewhere where you can catch a ride home with each other, the only way he'll get in contact with you will probably be over social media. This is enough to let you know that he wants to hook up, but that he doesn't want to be your boyfriend.
Signs a Cancer man is using you
Cancer is pretty old-school romantic, so it's common for him to always be the first one to hit you up. When he really likes someone, he'll always make the first move. This goes for anything from texting and calling to asking you out and making it official.
When Cancer is using you, he'll never be the one to text you first. To him, it's only a hookup, so even if you don't ever text him again, he'll just find someone else who will.
When he does like you as more than just a FWB, he'll be the first to contact you (almost always) because he'll be afraid of losing you.
Signs a Leo man is using you
When Leo is into someone, he puts aside his “me, me, me” nature and starts fawning over his new crush. He’s the type of person to drive over to your place in the middle of the night just because he wants to kiss you, so if you’ve got a Leo, cherish him.
That said, it can be hard to decipher if he’s really into you or if he just wants a casual fling when you first meet.
At first, he might seem like he’s cozying up to you just to get you to like him more, but once he figures out where his true feelings lie, his attitude changes.
Instead of making time for you, Leo always makes excuses. Suddenly he can’t make it to your weekend getaway with friends. He didn’t know he was going to have to cancel his movie date with you last minute. Sure...
Trust us when we say he knows what he’s doing.
Signs a Virgo man is using you
Virgo usually takes on the role of caretaker, meaning that he is always there for his friends, family, and significant others. When he “takes care” of his significant other, this usually means making sex all about you; he wants you to know that he knows what you like and what turns you on.
But when it comes to friends with benefits or one-night stands, this isn’t true at all.
Instead of making it all about his partner, Virgo ends up becoming more selfish with his needs. He doesn’t think this person is important enough to get to know on a personal basis, so there’s no reason to make them feel special during sex.
This change in personality isn’t obvious to everyone, and if you don’t already know a Virgo, it can be downright impossible to read them, so you need to be extra cautious with these men.
Signs a Libra man is using you
Libra loves being in serious relationships because it’s a chance to incorporate someone he loves into his daily routine (something he is very fond of).
He will go out of his way to make sure he includes his significant other in pretty much everything he does, no matter whether it’s grocery shopping or dinner with the family.
When Libra is just using you, you won’t get any of these perks. Instead, you can tell he wants to keep things casual when he breaks plans constantly. And when we mean constantly, we really mean it.
He might let you think you’re planning something with him, or he might outright cancel the plans, but his total lack of interest in anything but your body is a huge red flag.
Signs a Scorpio man is using you
Scorpio may be an intensely passionate person who thrives on sex and relationships, but there is one thing that Scorpio can’t live without: his friends. If he feels anything more fiercely than he does about sex, it’s friendship.
When you’re friends with a Scorpio, you’ve got a friend for life. He will go out of his way to make sure you know this, too.
When Scorpio is only using you as a friend with benefits, he doesn’t consider you a friend, period. This is because he doesn’t want to care for you or be there for you when you need him (harsh, but true). Instead, all he wants is to keep things physical.
Being with friends means being able to open up about the things that aren’t always easy to talk about, which is something he would never do with his FWB.
Signs a Sagittarius man is using you
Sagittarius is pretty hard to tie down anyway, so figuring out if he really likes you or just wants to hook up can be close to impossible. You might think you’ve got him figured out, but you absolutely do not.
His feelings can fluctuate depending on how he’s feeling at the time, and the internal monologue constantly telling him to change his mind doesn’t help either.
One thing you can rely on when it comes to reading Sagittarius’ feelings for you is that when he just wants a physical relationship, he’ll pretty much reduce his contact with you exclusively to booty calls at 3 AM.
Since that’s all he expects to get from you, there’s really no reason to pretend there’s anything more going on. Sounds blunt, but that’s Sagittarius for you.
Signs a Capricorn man is using you
Capricorn doesn’t often feel comfortable in friends-with-benefits or one-night-stand situations, but there’s an exception to every rule.
When Capricorn is looking for his “forever” mate, he likes going through all of the milestones you associate with serious relationships. This means going on the first date, meeting the parents, moving in together, all the way down the line to marriage and babies.
If he's using you, not only does Capricorn not do that, but the only thing more important to him than sticking to this schedule of events is not introducing you to his friends. He highly values his friends’ opinions, and if he only wants you around for sex, don’t ever expect that to happen.
You might think there’s something more going on between you two, but his actions will tell you differently.
Signs an Aquarius man is using you
Aquarius spends his whole life looking for people he can be himself around and who love him for who he is. Of course, this takes time and not everyone who enters Aquarius’ life is lucky enough to see the real him.
And while he could go either way — meaning serious relationships or casual encounters — he can be one of two different people, depending on which type of relationship he’s in.
If an Aquarius is using you, he won’t give you the option of learning more about him. Instead of hanging out before or staying over afterward, he’ll do what he came to do and then get out of there.
It’s impersonal, yes, but Aquarius is often impersonal until he gets comfortable with you in his life. If this impersonal attitude doesn’t change when you’re around, then he’s just not interested.
Signs a Pisces man is using you
Pisces is a romantic person even when he’s having casual sex, so it can sometimes be misleading when he acts like a boyfriend without taking on the responsibilities of one.
Casual relationships won’t stop him from wining and dining you, as long as he gets some after dinner. You can chalk this up to him enjoying the experience of it all instead of just wanting sex.
That said, there is one major clue to look out for if he really isn’t in it for more than just sex, and that is not staying to cuddle or sleep over afterward.
He usually likes to spend more time with someone he likes, especially if it’s doing something like snuggling and chatting, but if it’s just about the sex, don’t expect anything cute. For him, it’s really just time he could be spending with people he cares about. Sorry!
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh who is passionate about the environment and feminism and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes.