11 Rules For Keeping A Friends With Benefits Situation Casual (And Avoid Getting Hurt)

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friends with benefits rules

There are a few simple friends with benefits rules you need to follow if you want a situation that works. Notice I call this a "situation" and not a relationship.

It's not like a regular relationship — there are certain rules you need to follow to make sure you don't end up feeling confused, hurt, or let down if things don't work out. So let's jump in and learn some of the guidelines to abide by so you get maximum enjoyment from your friend with benefits.

1. Don't try to make your situation into a regular relationship.

Sometimes, women think that if they can just get a guy to sleep with them then they will be able to turn that into a serious, long-term relationship. To believe this is the equivalent of building a castle on sand — it's a really bad foundation for a relationship.

The only reason you should ever be in a friends with benefits relationship is when you want sexual passion and nothing else.

RELATED: 4 Crucial Do's And Don'ts For How To Make Friends With Benefits Work

2. Stay emotionally neutral.

This can be hard, but it's a vital rule of a friends with benefits situation if you want it to work properly. So, this means that you need to prevent yourself from getting attached to him.

It means that you're not allowed to get jealous if you see him hanging out or flirting with other girls. And it means that you can't be angry if he doesn't text you back immediately.

3. Keep it cuddle-free.

An oft forgotten friends with benefits rule is that you need to keep it cuddle-free. When you start to cuddle after sex, your bond with him will get deeper. This is not a good thing when it comes to keeping the situation free of emotion. 

The really annoying thing about this is that cuddling feels fantastic. So, do your best not to cuddle with him after sex.

4. Keep communication to a minimum.

Texting each other every day is going to give your FWB the wrong idea. He could start to think that you're looking for a serious relationship, which may freak him out.

5. Choose wisely.

Before you jump into bed together, make sure you choose someone with whom there will be no awkwardness if you break up and still hang out. There is nothing more annoying than having great sex with a coworker for a few months, then breaking up and having to hang around him while he dates another one of your colleagues.

Choose someone who you wouldn't see a whole lot anyway if you weren't sleeping together.

RELATED: These 4 Zodiac Signs Want To Be Friends — With Benefits

6. Don't hook up five nights a week.

Make sure that you don't hook up too often. Once a week or once every 2 weeks is fine. More than twice a week is a bad thing. You'll end up spending too much time together, which will make it more likely that those dreaded feelings will start developing.

7. Don't sleep over.

It's important to know that just because you are sleeping with someone, you don't necessarily have to sleep over. It's perfectly fine to leave an hour after you've arrived.

8. Don't exhaustively discuss it.

Friends with benefits situations aren't like regular relationships. They're way less serious. As a result, you don't need to worry about discussing or defining the relationship.

It's much better to just let it evolveand eventually devolvewhile you adhere to these rules. Having a serious discussion about it isn't a great idea.

9. Always use protection.

This should be the number one rule of any friends with benefits relationship. Make sure your man always uses protection. Just because you're not taking the relationship seriously doesn't mean that you should avoid taking your health seriously.

10. Understand that these relationships are not built to last.

Friends with benefits are most definitely not built to last. Some only last a week or two and some may last a few months, but it's incredibly rare for them to last more than a year. Be aware of this going into it and enjoy it while it lasts.

11. Don't be surprised if you absolutely hate it.

Friends with benefits is supposed to be sexy, hot and dirty. Some people enjoy having casual, no-strings-attached sex, but there's actually a lot of people who just don't enjoy it at all. Don't be surprised or worried if you find that it's not for you.

RELATED: This Is How 'Friends With Benefits' Usually Ends, Says Study

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Sean Jameson is a sex coach and creator of the Bad Girl's Bible, a resource for women who are looking to improve their sex lives and have more fun with their partner. Sign up for his free newsletter.