Love, Sex

9 Warning Signs He's Only Using You For The Sex

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man and woman kissing

It's an amazing feeling to finally be in an intimate relationship with a man, but it can be severely heartbreaking when the realization begins to dawn that he might only be using you for sex.

In an attempt to put that thought off, you might be tempted to think, "Well, of course, a healthy sex life is a crucial part of any good partnership, right?"

Hold on, though. Just because you can check the super-hot-together box off doesn't mean he's your soulmate, either. As a matter of fact, if you see some of the most common warning signs, then he most definitely is not.

So, if you're asking yourself, "Is he using me?", here are the signs that point to "yes" (and if this list is super depressing, bear with me! There is happiness if you read to the end):

1. You hook up every time you see each other.

At the first glance, sleeping together every single time you get together might seem normal and healthy. But, if every single date ends with you in bed together, then you might evaluate whether you have more in common than just the physical.

RELATED: 5 Brutal Ways To Know If A Man Is Just Using You For Sex

2. He doesn't talk about your future together.

If, "When we live together...", "When we are married...", and "When we have kids..." are not a part of the conversation — ever — then he probably doesn't see you as long-term.

3. He never does nice and helpful things for you ... that don't lead to sex.

Does he ever make you dinner when you're not feeling well? Does he repair something in your bathroom that you were ready to call in a plumber (who might be hot) to fix? Does he cuddle with you and watch Netflix when you're on your cycle?

If not, then chances are he's only looking out for what he wants — you in the sheets.

4. He doesn't introduce you to his family or friends.

Unless he doesn't have any family and friends in the nearby area — and you might wonder why, if that's the case — then if he thinks of you as his future partner he would be ecstatic to bring you home to the family and show you off to his friends.

If this isn't part of the picture then you might want to think about why.

5. He has never said, "I love you".

This should seem pretty obvious, but can sometimes get clouded and forgotten in the throes of new passion. If he loves you, he will say it. If he doesn't say it, then he probably doesn't.

6. He never makes plans in advance with you and often cancels plans.

If he has such a busy schedule doing other things than being with you, it could be that he doesn't really prioritize his time with you and doesn't think of being with you until he's "in the mood".

RELATED: If A Guy Does These 5 Things, He's Using You To Boost His Own Ego

7. He will only see you on short notice.

If he only ever calls or texts you that afternoon to make plans with you later that night, he's probably only doing so because he waited to be sure he had no other plans and he's "in the mood" (see above).

8. He only texts and never calls.

Though it's becoming increasingly more common for texting to take the place of simple conversations — like where and when to meet for dinner — he would still want to hear your voice and want to know how you're doing if you're more to him than just a hookup.

9. He's flirting with, expressing interest in, or is seeing other women.

This is the biggie. If he is still interested in other women, whether he's just looking right now or is actually seeing someone else, then he doesn't think you'll be together forever and definitely only thinks of you as a "for right now" woman.

Okay, so if you relate to these warning signs you might be wondering where the silver lining is.

It's you.

Now that you have awoken to the realization that the man you possibly love is likely just using you as an object, you have the power to end it.

You have the power to say "No more. Never again." You have the power to stop being his for-right-now woman, his last-minute-something-to-do, his backup plan, and his simple pleasure.

And you have the power to hold out for the man that:

  • Wants to see you whether you sleep with him or not.
  • Can't stop talking about when the two of you will be married.
  • Is helpful and kind to you.
  • Excitedly introduces you to his family and friends.
  • Says, "I love you" all the time.
  • Will make plans with you and honor them.
  • Will ask if you're available this Friday on Monday.
  • Calls you every day.
  • Is completely done with other women.

Because only that man is worth your time. Hold out for him and make the man just using you a thing of the past.

From one woman to another — hold out for your soulmate.

RELATED: 5 Undeniable Signs He's Only Using You (And Will Break Your Heart)

Dina Robison is a soulmate attraction coach and creator of the Dating Deliberately To Attract the One course. Begin attracting your soulmate today with a free audio "6 Ways To Begin Deliberately Attracting Your Soul Mate Now."