Why Men Start Acting Distant And Pulling Away, According To Astrology
Astrology has a lot to say about his reasons for ignoring you.
Getty Whether you're in a new relationship or a tried-and-true one, there are a million reasons why men sometimes start acting suddenly distant.
If you want to know why a man is suddenly pulling away, learning more about the traits and behaviors common to male zodiac signs can help.
Why do men act distant?
Distance can be a healthy part of being together. You shouldn't lose yourself when you find someone you love, but, of course, there's a difference between needing space to continue growing as individuals and pulling away, withdrawing, or ignoring someone you're supposed to care about.
When a guy gets distant, it doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is over. It does, however, mean that there are some things you need to work through as a team.
The worst thing you can do when you realize that your man doesn't want to hold your hand or talk about what's going on with him is to tell him that he's on his own. If your relationship is going to work, you need to work at making that happen.
Think of growing your relationship as growing a garden. The lushest, most beautiful gardens are the ones that have constant maintenance — someone to water it, sunlight to help it grow, and a good foundation to keep it happy and healthy. Even during heavy rains and even droughts, there is always a way to keep your garden thriving.
Like a garden, your relationship needs constant maintenance. You can't expect to be with someone for a long time if neither of you is willing to do the work of keeping it happy and healthy.
If a guy pulls away and then comes back, it's because the distance helped him gain perspective on the situation, getting him to realize that he misses you after dealing with his concerns or anxiety that made him step away in the first place.
And the reason why men act distant is unique to their zodiac signs — as well as the approach you can take to rectify the situation.
Here's why men act distant and what to do about it, based on their zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
An Aries man is a get-up-and-go kind of zodiac sign who wants his partner to be motivated in everything they do.
If he's acting distant around you, think about how you've been spending your time together lately.
Have there been as many late-night adventures and weekend trips? Are you only eating take-out at home or are you trying some new restaurants? If he's starting to act like he's pulling away from you, there's a good chance that he's getting bored.
When you first met, he was drawn to your motivation and energy because it complements his drive and enthusiasm for life. One of the biggest things he's worried about in a relationship is getting bored, so if he is starting to feel bored, he's most likely going to distance himself so it's easier for him to break it off if he needs to.
To bring him back in, find your motivation again — whether that's in your work, your social life, or together. Aries wants to know that you can have a rich, full life outside of your relationship, as well as in it.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
A Taurus man needs to take his time when he's in a relationship. If he feels like things are going way too fast, he's going to distance himself as fast as he can.
He's not a huge fan of change, so if you're the kind of person that wants to get serious and move in together before he's ready, he's not going to want to stick around. He needs a partner who is sure of themselves and the relationship and lets it take its course.
Taurus could also be distancing himself if he feels like you're not being yourself with him. If the relationship is new, it can be hard not to want to impress him, but if you're starting to act inauthentic and fake, he's going to lose interest.
He wants someone who is sincere and real — and yes, he can definitely tell when you're not. Bring him closer by talking openly about your relationship and where you see it going; giving yourselves a future is a great way to make him feel wanted.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
If you're dating a Gemini man, there's a good chance that you met somewhere like a party or some other kind of social gathering. He's naturally drawn to people who are as fun-loving and outgoing as he is, so this is a relationship that he definitely doesn't want to lose over something trivial.
That said, a Gemini man distancing himself from you could be from him noticing a change in the dynamic that he might not have noticed before.
He knows that he can be indecisive at times, but he tends to have a pretty good handle on not being able to make up his mind. If you also can't make up your mind, he's going to feel overwhelmed by the fact that he has to take a lead he's not prepared for.
On the other hand, if you're more of the controlling type — or even an aggressive, take-the-lead type — he's going to distance himself. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone who is going to make him feel like he's limited or doesn't have freedom; it's a complicated middle with Gemini.
If you're wondering what to do when a Gemini man pulls away or becomes distant, you should know communication is key. Talk about everything and you'll be able to work out any problem together.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
A Cancer man is someone who needs to be in an uber-loving relationship, complete with PDA, tickle fights, and sharing your feelings. If you aren't giving him any of that, then those should be signs a Cancer man has lost interest. If he has anything less than that, he's going to become pretty distant, pretty fast.
He tends to be turned off most by partners who are afraid to express affection and emotion.
If you're wondering how to react when a Cancer man pulls away, you should know that to get them closer, you have to be more affectionate and touchy. Don't be afraid to hold his hand in public or text him that you love him while he's at work; it's the little things that count with him.
Cancer is very intuitive, so he's able to pick up on hints that you're not as open as he is more easily than a lot of other zodiac signs.
Your Cancer man will start pushing you away if he feels like you're being insensitive and rude. It can be hard to stay positive every day of a relationship but communicating with him makes these harder days easier to handle.
If he knows you're at least trying, then he'll keep trying, too. Otherwise, he'll stay distant until one of you breaks it off.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
A Leo man has a big personality, but just because he wants to be the center of attention sometimes doesn't mean that he's trying to overshadow you in a relationship. He needs a partner who isn't, well... distant. Otherwise, he's going to become distant, and then that could be why your Leo man pulls away.
He's very attracted to you because you're not afraid of big gestures of love and you're honest with your feelings about him. But if you're the kind of person who would rather keep your relationship on the down-low, Leo is going to withdraw from the relationship.
Leo is also the kind of guy who likes to take charge of situations, and while he likes the dynamic of having a partner who can be a leader just like he can, he knows better than anyone that there's a fine line between being a leader and being bossy.
If you're the aggressive type who tries to talk over him or make decisions for the both of you, he's going to start distancing himself faster than you can realize what he's doing.
He ultimately wants to be a power couple with you, so having a full social life and a serious professional one, but still making time for love, is a big turn-on for him — show him that you care about yourself!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo men are the ones who know what they want in a relationship way before they even start dating someone seriously. So, when he does start a relationship with you, it's because he sees something important and long-lasting in you.
If he starts getting distant, however, there's a good chance that it's because he's second-guessing what he thought he saw in you the first time.
Virgo has a very short attention span when it comes to relationships, and he would rather be single and looking for the perfect person than in a relationship he's not totally set on. Harsh but true.
But just because Virgo is distancing himself doesn't mean your relationship is over. Some things he tends to look out for are making sure his partner is being considerate of his feelings, needs him, and is comfortable taking things slow.
If he feels like you're being rude or rushing him into the relationship, he's going to want to talk to you about it before deciding if the relationship should continue.
Honesty is big with Virgo. He wants to know upfront if things are going too fast or too slow, as well as where the future lies with you. Holding things back only means you're setting yourself up for failure.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
A Libra man can often get caught up in the romance of new relationships before really settling into it, so when you first date him, he might be all about the PDA and affection before really taking the time to get to know you.
As an air sign, when he does get to know you, he really just cares about having a deep bond with someone he can talk to and spend romantic nights with (don't we all?).
If Libra men start to feel distant, it could be for a few different reasons.
He tries to be an easy-going, flexible kind of guy who isn't too worried about the nit-picky things that inevitably come with relationships. That said, just because he's not doing the nit-picking doesn't mean he feels like you're not, either.
He tends to lose interest in partners who are more aggressive and controlling than he is; to him, relationships are about bringing love and happiness into every day you're together. If he feels like he has to second-guess everything he does or says about you, it's inevitable that he's going to get distant.
If you're wondering what to do when a Libra man pulls away or becomes distant, you have to remember you were first his friend, so listen to him as a friend. Let him open up to you about the tough things and that will make it easier for both of you to have a happier, healthier relationship.
Never underestimate the power of hashing it out!
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
A Scorpio man has a hard time opening up to people, especially when it comes to love and relationships. When he's in a relationship with someone, he wants to make sure that they are just as enthusiastic and serious about the relationship as he is; not just in it for the attention or company.
So, when he starts getting distant, it can be very hard to reel him back in, especially since he's the kind of person who, once he makes up his mind, has a very hard time changing it again.
If he's acting more distant than usual, it could be because he doesn't feel like you're living up to his expectations. He wants someone who is always honest, assertive, passionate, and patient — he knows that he needs time to open up to someone new (and he realizes how difficult he can act when he's still guarding his heart), but he hopes that you'll realize that he needs to distance himself in order to get closer to you.
It's a convoluted method, but he's really just trying to protect his heart, and this is the best way he knows how to do that.
If you want to see the real Scorpio, don't be afraid to be brutally honest. This isn't a method that works for every sign, but he'll more than appreciate you being assertive and showing you care and won't give up on him.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
When you date a Sagittarius man, you're dating someone who is always full of surprises. He loves a good adventure, he wants to be best friends with his partner, and he needs to be free.
The one thing that Sagittarius can't tolerate in a relationship is someone who makes him feel like he's tied down to the relationship. Any hint of clinginess and he's out the door. He also wants his partner to be as adventurous and enthusiastic as he is.
If he's starting to act distant, consider reconnecting by doing something you both love, like cooking, hiking, or taking a day trip somewhere.
This will remind him of all the good times you have together, rather than think that a little distance means the end of the relationship. He might act a little reserved himself at times, but it's only because he wants to be sure that this relationship is worth the fight.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
A Capricorn man tends to take a very traditional approach when it comes to relationships. In fact, it can seem almost methodical when he's with you. But don't let that fill you; Capricorn men have huge hearts and are very affectionate — with the right person, that is.
When he's starting to seem a little bit distant, it's probably for a very good reason (at least, to him it is). He knows that he can sometimes come off a little strong (and hyper-focused on things that he's passionate about).
He's pretty dominant sometimes — but the reason he was so attracted to you in the first place was that you were so understanding of the person he is without wanting him to change anything.
If he's distant, it could be because he feels like you're becoming more stubborn and uncompromising about things that matter to him.
A lot of things matter to Capricorn but finding the drive that kept this relationship fiery and romantic when you first starting dating is essential to a happy partnership. Reminding each other that this relationship is something you want to constantly work on will show him that you would do anything for him (and that he would do the same for you).
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
When an Aquarius man dates, he first and foremost looking for a best friend. He wants to know that even when things get rough and you don't always like each other at the moment, there's still a friend there for him to count on.
This is why he's always looking for those moments when you two can have deep conversations and get weird with each other because you can only do that with a best friend.
If Aquarius is acting distant, he could be freaking out about the relationship part of the relationship — not so much the friendship part. His feelings can flip-flop easily, so it can be hard to predict what he really wants from you, but you can almost guarantee that he wants someone who will keep their promises to him.
He might be wishy-washy at times, but when he's in a serious relationship, he wants you to be just as committed to him as he is to you.
If you're feeling like there's too much distance in your relationship, even with an Aquarius, try to get back to the basics with deep conversations and honesty; remind each other how much being friends matters to you.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
A Pisces man has a lot of love to give and he wants to make sure that the person he's dating is willing to share that love with him. Whenever he thinks of the perfect relationship, it's one that's filled with passion, romance, and support.
If he's starting to get distant, it could be because he's not feeling any of those things between you two. And it might not even be because there isn't any love or romance in your relationship he could just be putting too much pressure on the relationship to succeed that when it doesn't live up to his expectations, he detaches himself from you.
His biggest worry is that he'll date someone who takes his love for granted. He can get so worked up over this that he can unintentionally distance himself from you, even though that's the exact opposite of what he wants.
Insert some of that romance you two had when you first started dating by getting to know each other again, telling each other how much you appreciate one another, and doing kind things for each other.
What should you do when a man pulls away?
Don't panic — it will blow things out of proportion.
When your guy starts acting a little distant and not at all like himself, the best way to help him is by understanding how he prefers to be helped. Knowing more about a man's zodiac sign is a great way to do that.
For example, if your boyfriend or husband was born under one of the zodiac signs that like talking about their problems, initiating a conversation and lending a listening ear is a good way to get him to open up.
If he was born under more of a withdrawn, secretive zodiac sign that would rather deal with problems on their own, helping him might mean helping yourself be OK with a little more alone time for a short while.
Whatever it is that's making him seem distant and like he's behaving out of character, there's a good chance you can work it out as long as you're both willing to help each other.
And when you do figure out why he's pulling away and can get past it, it's important to remember that you have to continue cultivating the relationship.
Astrology can help you understand situations like this much better. And since relationship issues are never a one-and-done fix, now is as good a time as any to learn more about the traits of your guy's zodiac sign.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh who's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes.