What You Need For A Healthy Relationship, Based On Your Personality Type
Your personality type can help you define your true needs.
Ali Mungaba / Shutterstock It can be hard to evaluate what you actually need versus what you want from a partner, but it's important to do just that in order to have a healthy relationship.
An easy start is through taking stock of your non-negotiables. Then, of course, there are needs regarding personality and values. These “needs,” however, may be wants in disguise. And one of the best ways to determine what you need is your Myers-Briggs personality type.
Your Myers-Briggs type can shed light on what you’re truly like and help reveal what you need in order to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship. From ISTJ to ENTJ, there are unique things each type brings to a relationship — and things each type needs in order to be their best self and make the relationship work.
Here's what your Myers-Briggs type needs for a healthy relationship.
ISTJ
When it comes to work, ISTJs are dependable, steadfast, and committed. They are the same way in relationships as well.
What this type needs is validation for their commitment; they need to be shown the same level of commitment and loyalty. ISTJ is also traditional, so someone who appreciates tradition, but can also show them how to break tradition, is good for this type.
ISTP
An ISTP needs to feel comfortable voicing their feelings in a relationship for it to be healthy. This type, as a rule, is quiet; they do not speak up unless spoken to.
However, ISTPs are governed by logic, so a good partner will help them break free of their 24/7 logical brain and access their emotions. This type also enjoys adventures, so they need an equally adventurous partner.
ESTP
The ESTP type needs an anchor. They love life and being on the go, but that means people get left behind.
ESTPs need an energy-filled partner who likes to surprise them with adventures, but also help them connect to others. People are what makes life so interesting, anyway.
ESTJ
ESTJs like to take charge of any and all situations. They need a partner who recognizes this desire for control, but can also step in when the situation is too much.
This type is also practical and straightforward and functions through procedure. In a healthy relationship, ESTJs should be able to get in touch with their creative side.
ISFJ
Those with an ISFJ in their life are lucky, as this type is conscientious and devoted. ISFJs love to take care of others, and do it often.
This means, however, that ISFJs themselves often get left behind. This type needs someone who helps them think of themselves, a partner who will put them first and take care of them when needed.
ISFP
ISFPs need partners that truly understand who they are in order to have a healthy relationship. This all depends on the ISFP, who needs to open themselves up.
It helps to cultivate an environment in which the ISFP feels free, supported, and cared for. In return, ISFPs can reciprocate with a lot of trust, loyalty, and grandiose gestures.
ESFP
People with an ESFP type tend to be more materialistic than others. They need a partner who can show them that life is more than tangible things.
They also do not like to be entirely committed to certain things, like plans. A flexible, talkative partner that is equally giving and sympathetic is what this type needs for a relationship to flourish.
ESFJ
Like ISFJ, the ESFJ type is highly conscientious and is known as a supporter. ESFJs need to know they’re seen as more than that, however. In a relationship, ESFJs need to know their thoughts and feelings are being perceived, valued, and supported.
This type also tends to set rules for themselves and others; in a healthy relationship, a partner will recognize this, but help bring much-needed spontaneity into an ESFJ’s life.
INFJ
INFJs have a great understanding of relationships, from those between specific individuals to human relationships on a grand scale. While they have a knack for intuiting a good partner, this type is not so quick to open up.
A healthy relationship with an INFJ comes with shared visionary values, balanced with a partner who helps anchor INFJ in reality.
INFP
This type is selective about their relationships. INFPs are kind and caring to all they encounter, but find it difficult to open up about their own feelings even to those they are close to.
In a healthy relationship, an INFP is able to express their feelings and feel supported, while not entirely depending upon their partner for fulfillment — and vice versa, as INFPs need space.
ENFP
“Gregarious” is a great, succinct word to describe ENFPs. In a healthy relationship, a partner has enough energy to match this type’s, and has an equal love for life and all the adventures it has to offer.
But the ENFP tends to skip details and minutia, which can be detrimental to a relationship; they need an understanding partner who helps them to see the small pieces that make the amazing bigger picture.
ENFJ
Anyone in a relationship with an ENFJ should recognize how giving this type is. ENFJs love watching those around them grow and flourish.
Their focus on others, however, means they leave themselves behind. In a healthy relationship, an ENFJ’s partner gives them the attention they need and allows them to indulge in themselves.
INTJ
It’s difficult for an INTJ to break out of their private shell when first encountering a relationship of any kind. They need a partner with high emotional intelligence who can intuit INTJ’s feelings.
An INTJ will always choose logic over emotion, so they need an environment that encourages them to get in touch with their feelings. This type also needs a partner who will challenge them intellectually.
INTP
This type is an idea machine with a mind that won’t stop. Any potential partner needs to recognize this and be receptive to what the INTP has to say.
They are not, however, entirely receptive to their ideas being challenged. In a healthy relationship, an INTP’s partner does not necessarily stroke their genius but helps them get in touch with their emotional side to see their idea from all angles.
ENTP
ENTPs love to talk. More specifically, they love conversation — not just to hear themselves, but to listen to others as well. They need a partner that is equally chatty and revels in intellectual debate.
While this type likes to solve problems, they do not like to dwell on their own. ENTPs should be willing to feel able and willing to delve into the personal in a healthy relationship.
ENTJ
The ENTJ type thrives in interpersonal interaction. They are fair, and if their partner is not good at decision-making, it will not be an issue to this decisive type.
Their partner, however, should have a thick skin and be able to stand up to ENTJs. In a healthy relationship, an ENTJ’s partner is able to see the broad scope of these decisions and bring the missing element of compassion to the table.
Alison Cerri is a writer and former contributor to YourTango, and current Associate Publicist for HarperOne. Her work covers entertainment, news, and lifestyle topics.