The ESTJ Personality Type's Biggest Dating Strengths & Weaknesses

Are you dating an ESTJ?

The ESTJ Personality Type's Biggest Dating Strengths & Weaknesses getty

ESTJs personality types are very old school in everything they do, and this is evident in their dating strengths and weaknesses when it comes to relationships.

This Myers-Briggs personality type likes to make the world a better place by making sure that everyone does the right thing. This transfers into their love life because they want to be the best and be with the best.

Described by the Myers & Briggs Foundation as decisive, responsible, and with a natural instinct for taking charge, the ESTJ personality type may take the lead in your relationship. But that's OK, because they want to do the best for everyone involved in their relationship.


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So, whether you are pursuing an ESTJ personality type or you want to be aware of your own assets and pitfalls when it comes to relationships, here are some dating strengths and weaknesses to refer to when you need some insight on your partner.


ESTJ dating strengths

They put a lot of effort into their relationships.

ESTJs are very dedicated to their relationships. Their strong will can make them relentless when they want someone. Once ESTJs know they want to date you, they will not budge and they will pursue you as much as possible.

They'd rather resolve conflict than ignore it.

Honesty is a very important part of any relationship for an ESTJ. They are very straightforward and they would rather talk things out than have an elephant in the room. And above all else, when you are dating an ESTJ, try to look at things through their eyes and understand their motives so you can interact accordingly.


ESTJs are very committed.

ESTJs look for someone that they can have lifelong relationships with when they are dating. They are very reliable for their partners. ESTJs want to be the person their significant other can go to when they are looking for stability.

They are not threatened by conflict.

ESTJs put their relationship before any conflict. They don't let relationship challenges ruin their relationship. They would rather put in the effort to work through things so that their relationship stays strong and that they can continue living happily together.

ESTJs are dependable and stable.

ESTJs provide security and safety for their significant other in their relationship. Also, something that makes them dependable, ESTJs are very straightforward and clear about what they need in a relationship from the start. There are no guessing games when it comes to being with an ESTJ.


They are responsible.

they do what needs to be done around the house and keep things working smoothly. As a personality that does not like it when things can become unpredictable, they like to create a clear structure in their life and in their relationships. And a bonus, ESTJs are great at handling money.

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ESTJ Dating Weaknesses

They believe that they are always right.

As a stubborn personality, they are always fixated on what is right and they rarely are open to other people's opinions. They have a hard time trusting others and they rather take their own advice than chance it with others.


They can be very impatient and judgmental.

This is especially evident when they are surrounded by inefficiency. With their strong ideas about what is right and wrong, they will never admit that there may be other ways to do something, even if it is better. ESTJs will put people in their place and ultimately get what they want.

ESTJs are very focused on social status.

ESTJs can become so focused on meeting other people's expectations that they forget to do what they need for themselves. They are a little insecure so they are always wanting to make sure others see them in the best light, especially their significant other.

They need to be in charge.


ESTJs take on an authoritative role in relationships very easily. This is a natural role that ESTJs may not even realize they are taking in their relationships. Others can sometimes feel like ESTJs are tying to be controlling.

ESTJs are bad at sharing their emotions and feelings.

They have such a hard time expressing their emotions with their significant other because they are very analytical and fact-oriented. They get so caught up in the facts that they don't notice how what they are saying to their partner is affecting them.

They may be a bit insensitive.

Since ESTJs are fact-oriented, they have a hard time expressing their emotions and they struggle with providing their partner with the sensitivity they may really need at that specific point in their relationship.


ESTJs are uncomfortable with change.

ESTJs are people who like to live their life with consistency. When they are forced into new and uncomfortable situations, they get stressed and defensive. They are very skeptical about everything because it may ultimately fail, unlike the traditional and known ways that they know work and are reliable.

ESTJ Relationships

When an ESTJ is with someone, they are reliable to their partner and they have a high work ethic that makes it possible for them to live comfortably. They don't want to be mooched off of, so they will only be comfortable in a relationship with someone who has these same qualities as well.


Most of all, you should feel like you can always go to your ESTJ personality partner because they will always give you good advice and the guidance you need when you must make decisions that you are unsure of.

Be proud when you are in a relationship with an ESTJ. They will treat you with dignity and they will be dedicated to you and only you.

Yes, life may lead you down difficult paths, but when you are with an ESTJ, they will help you through the darkness. They will help you see the light and find your place in the world.

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Emily Francos is a writer who covers relationships, pop culture, and news topics.