INTJ Relationships & Best Personality Type Compatibility

Fall in love with an INTJ.

INTJ Relationships & Best Personality Type Compatibility getty

Falling in love is a grand experience filled with passion and romance — INTJ relationships don't always come so easy.

But for the INTJ personality type, relationships can be hard because the act of letting someone in doesn't come easily.

What is an INTJ?

An INTJ personality type is someone who is goal-oriented, and they have expectations for certain things.

INTJs struggle with traditional experiences, emotions, and rules, and while they do like honesty and directness, they are not impulsive.


It is hard for people to handle them because they are always analyzing something, so they are more likely to do things on their own.

According to the Myers & Briggs Foundation, the INTJ Myers-Briggs type is naturally skeptical, a personality trait that manifests frequently in their relationships.

Here is what you need to know if you are an INTJ or are thinking about dating someone with an INTJ personality.

INTJ Romantic Relationships

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When it comes to romantic relationships, INTJs do not fall into love very quickly. They are not ones who get swept off their feet spontaneously and with such passion.

They break dating into steps that they are comfortable with.

INTJs are very intellectual but they can sometimes get caught up in fantasy land because they are always searching for a better world to live in.

As a direct and brutally honest personality type, this can make it super difficult for them to date because they don't put in the usual niceties that are common when you start dating someone.

And as INTJs find themselves superior intellectually, so it can be hard for them to be with someone because they only see people doing "lesser" things as silly or inferior to them.


Sometimes, INTJs are seen as attractive when they aren't even trying.

As long as they believe that a relationship can work, then they will do whatever they need to do to maintain their long term relationship.

Also for INTJs, they are very trusting of their partner. They give them the freedom to whatever they want but if their trust is broken, then it's very hard for them to regain their trust.

Something else, INTJs have a very difficult time expressing their emotions. So, they may have a hard time expressing their love for their partner.

For INTJs, they have to be careful that they don't overthink or read into things. This can lead to unneeded conflicts and emotional upsets.


Best Relationship Compatibility for INTJ


An ENFJ and an INTJ are very good, compatible matches. INTJs are attracted to ENFJ's personality traits of warmth, loyalty, and energy, which overcomes the obstacle of not being on the same intellectual level. Also, ENFJs are goal-oriented, organized, and productive, which INTJs admire.


INTJs thrive when they are with someone who is equally intelligent and organized as they are. For this relationship to work, they have to listen to each other's opinions and they have to compromise. In this relationship, they can easily clash when they do not have the same views, but if they respect each other, then the difference doesn't matter.



ESFJs can be very emotional, which is something an INTJ can't relate to. They are very in-tune with their partner's emotions. INTJs can be hard to read emotionally because they do not have the same level of emotion as they are extremely independent people. ESFJs can be disappointed when it comes to emotional compatibility, but it won't deter this match up. ESFJs are able to take care of their partner, especially when it comes to dealing with the outside world. ESFJs make life a little easier for INTJs. Their compatibility continues because they both need to have a structured and organized direction to life. This is a great compatibility pairing.


INTJs and ESFPs are a very good personality type match when it comes to relationship compatibility. In this relationship, both personality types are attracted to each other's differences. ESFPs quickly become interested in the independence, creativity, and intelligence a INTJ has, whereas an INTJ is attracted to an ESFPs generosity and relaxed style. But for this relationship to work, they need to put in a great amount of effort.


RELATED: Personality Types That Will Break Your Heart, Ranked From Most To Least Likely

Of course, relationships don't stop there. How does the INTJ personality type fare in the other relationships in their life?

INTJ Friendships

INTJs are very good at making friends, and it comes more naturally than romantic relationships.


They can be very hard to read or to get them to open up. Since they keep themselves distanced emotionally, they end up pushing others away.

To be friends with an INTJ, they have to be on the same level of intelligence. They need others to be able to understand what they are talking about so that they can have intelligent conversations.

INTJ Personalities As Parents

As a parent, INTJs are committed to teaching their children.

Since they're not typically affectionate, INTJs might struggle with giving their children the emotional support and parental affection that they need. Children need a lot of physical contact with their parents when they are younger and they need a sympathetic parent when they are struggling with sensitive topics, so it takes a lot of effort for INTJ personality types to give their children what they need. It's not impossible, it's just hard.


As parents, INTJs help their children make their own decisions and use their minds, they don't make their children do anything. This helps their children learn critical learning skills. INTJs are also very open with their children. 

RELATED: What It Means When He Says 'I Love You,' Based On His Myers Briggs Personality Type

Emily Francos is a writer who covers relationships, pop culture, and news topics.