Your Attachment Style, According To Astrology
While we all strive for a secure attachment style, understanding how you instinctively navigate relationships can help you get there.
Toa Heftiba via Unsplash / Pri Patricio and designstlg via Canva According to love coach Jianny Adamo, LMHC, attachment styles refer to the way we react to and get our need for connection met. Shaped by our earliest bonds with primary caregivers, there may be a correlation between the four attachment styles (secure, anxious, dismissive and fearful) and certain astrological placements, particularly the Venus and Mars signs.
Zodiac sign attachment styles
Secure attachment style: Taurus, Leo and Cancer
Adamo notes that a secure attachment style reflects how one is “able to commit and adapt easily to the needs of the present. You’re comfortable with disclosing your inner thoughts, feelings…and allow your partner to depend on you.”
A secure attachment style is reflected in the signs that are not afraid to give their love even if it means that they can get hurt. These are the people who are resilient and know that they have the fortitude to make changes and end relationships that are not aligned with their needs.
Taurus
Taurus is ruled by Venus, making them highly secure in their attachment style. The evolved Taurus knows what they want and will not be afraid to honor their expectations before entering a relationship. They are direct, do not play games, and get to the point. If things do not work the way they envisioned it, they will also not have an issue leaving the relationship (especially a Taurus Moon).
Once they have experienced the negativity of past relationships, they will incorporate their lessons into their next one. These are the ones who are secure in their style to attract love but have the foresight to not engage in toxicity if they have experienced it.
Leo
Leo is ruled by the Sun and the evolved Leo will not compromise their needs and will not dim their light for anyone. They are the aristocrats of the zodiac and someone in this position knows that they need someone worthy of their time and energy to lead the show with them. Leo is secure in their attachment style because they do not forget who they are and will make sure their partners remember it. They are the stars, not the supporting actors. In a relationship, if they can’t shine and be themselves, they will know where to draw the line.
Cancer
Cancer is ruled by the Moon. Cancer's transparency and openness to feel is their power. The evolved Cancer has a secure attachment style because they know what they seek in a partner and can bring balance and warmth to their relationships. This is the sign that is the most emotionally intelligent and when they can honor their needs and values, they can make their relationships thrive because they will not settle for anyone.
Anxious attachment style: Pisces, Virgo and Libra
Anxious attachment is reflected in the zodiac signs that may be so afraid to lose their partner that they can become co-dependent. As Adamo explained, “Although you have the capacity for close relationships, you place the needs of your partner and friends above your own, losing your sense of identity.”
Pisces
Pisces is a sign that can become a martyr in their relationships, giving too much and not receiving the same energy. They will be the ones who will neglect to see the harsh realities for fear of losing a partner that they love. This is where their anxious attachment style may stem from.
Pisces needs to learn to be more practical in love and not get swayed by what they feel. When they admit the flaws of their partners and that they are worthy of a healthy connection, they can shift their attachment to security.
Virgo
Mercury rules Virgo, and this is a planet that can make the native more analytical, critical and anxious in relationships. When Virgo is hyperfocused on critiquing themselves, they will reflect this in their relationships. Virgo may even go out of their way to try to “improve” their partner instead of ending a relationship. Similar to Pisces, they will avoid reality and paint their own narrative instead of having tough discussions and ending the relationship if needed.
The evolved Virgo will learn that if someone is a certain way, it will be hard to change them.
Libra
Libra may be the most co-dependent zodiac sign of them all, fueling the anxious attachment since their relationship could become their personality. They may also lose their identity in relationships. As Adamo noted, those with anxious attachment styles will prioritize their partners over friends. They are the sign that will want to avoid conflict and not get to the root of a problem in a relationship.
Libra needs to learn to make a compromise to create good communication with their partner through honesty instead of avoiding the elephant in the room.
Dismissive avoidant attachment style: Capricorn, Aquarius and Scorpio
For dismissive avoidants, Adamo explained that “Independence and self-reliance have become confused with adaptation, due to your early childhood neglect.”
Dismissive avoidant zodiac signs are usually strong and can appear as intensely independent, however, when it comes to romance, they will hide who they are from their partner because they do not trust them. They can appear cold or callous, behavior that can make their partners feel more insecure or not worthy.
Capricorn
Capricorns are a sign that has a tough time being emotionally vulnerable with their partners, especially when they are no longer invested in the relationship; this is when their job and career become their refuge. They suppress their emotions and look the other way. Saturn’s clutches will not allow them to show this side to others because it is sacred to them. It can be tough for Capricorns to get close to others because of their fear of getting hurt.
Aquarius
Aquarius is another Saturn-ruled sign that will behave similarly to Capricorn. However, Aquarius may be more aloof, which will make their partners believe that they are playing mind games. Aquarius may try to test their partners just to see if things go awry.
Similar to Sagittarius, this is a sign that will fight to preserve their freedom, and when their partners try to take that from them, they will rebel. However, the Aquarius that is in love will trust their partner with their emotions and fears.
Scorpio
Scorpio is well known for being reserved and a tactician in relationships. They will know more about their partners than their partners know about them. Scorpio will not show their vulnerable side to anyone, even if they love them with all their heart.
For a water sign, Scorpios are more logical, but deep down their emotions are burning and they will not tolerate betrayals. This is a sign that observes and will end things when their intuition tells them that it will not work out.
Fearful avoidant attachment style: Sagittarius, Aries and Gemini
According to Adamo, a fearful avoidant attachment style is characterized by both longing for and a fear of relationships, which may lead to "difficulty managing stress" and sometimes even "aggressive behaviors.”
Fearful avoidance may not be exactly linked to trauma for these zodiac signs but rather an intense need to preserve freedom and independence. These signs prioritize themselves. They will be open enough with what they feel but will not always have the stability needed to keep a relationship strong. They build their foundation with a bed of flowers instead of bricks and when everything shatters, it is easy for them to go on their next adventure.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius is a sign that may be fearful and avoidant because they value their independence. This a sign that could long for deeper connections but will change their mind along the way if they sense compatibility isn’t right. It could be easy for them to give the illusion that they are emotionally vulnerable and present, when in reality they may think about greener pastures.
This is the sign of the explorer and maverick. Their fear is tied to being held back by someone who will not let them explore and live how they want to.
Aries
Aries will make it appear that everything is going well in a relationship but can disappear the moment things are not going the way they envisioned. Aries is a sign that can feel disillusioned when they experience betrayal, but instead of discussing things they tend to close themselves off emotionally. If they see a similar pattern in the next relationship, they will have no problem leaving once again.
Once Aries evolves, they will want to build a solid foundation with a partner they trust.
Gemini
Gemini wants to be emotionally connected but their fearful avoidant side may stem from having a partner that does not appreciate or communicate the way that they want to with them. If a Gemini also loses respect for their partner, they can become closed off and more reserved. It is much easier for them to discuss things that pique their curiosity and keep them intellectually engaged, but when it comes to discussing their emotions, it can make them wary.
A secure attachment style can be developed over time.
While we may naturally lean towards an insecure or avoidant attachment style, it is possible to become more secure in your relationships over time.
In an article for Psychology Today, licensed marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, explained that therapy and seeking out relationships with those who have a secure attachment style can help heal an insecure attachment style.
A.T. Nunez is an Afro-Latina Astrologer and philosopher living in NYC. She is passionate about astrology and aims to continue writing more about stargazing in the future.