How To Reconnect With Mr. Right

Love, Heartbreak

Here's what to do if you let a good one get away and he hasn't tied the knot yet!

You had a great guy in your life and you let him go.  Now you regret it.  It may have been a high school guy buddy or an ex-boyfriend.  It may have been a guy that chased you for years and finally gave up since you were not interested.  Now you realize that you should have given him a chance because he is a GOOD MAN and not like the playas and bad boys you’ve always liked.  Now you are ready to settle down and realize that he would have made the best husband and father to your future kids than any other guy you’ve ever known.  So go get him!

First off, don’t think you can start off right where you left off.  You may have hurt him.  He may not be open to rekindling your friendship.  Take a slow approach.  Be humble about how things ended and be willing to apologize if it ended badly.  But just start with a simple email or Facebook post first.  Start off with something like, “Hey, how are you? I just thought I’d say hello!”  If he doesn’t respond, don’t sweat it.  He is not ready or not interested.

If he does respond back, invite him to your party.  For this you must invite other people to hang out so it will be a ‘party.’  Just a couple of people at a happy hour will do.  Anything as long as it isn’t just you and him.  At this party, simply catch up with him casually.  You do not want it to seem like you are trying to get him back into your life, but simply being that same friend you were.  Don’t get too deep or try to have a prolonged conversation privately with him right then, just keep in light and friendly.  Let him take it from there.  If he mentions seeing you again or comes up with an invitation, accept.  At the very most say something like, “You were a great friend and I have missed you.”  That’s all!

Now, if he sets up something for the two of you to do, that is when you can get deeper and admit that you’d like him back in your life in some capacity.  I wouldn’t say anything about dating unless he presses for it. Let him lead that direction.  Just be his friend for now and see where it develops.  Unless he asks!  If he wants to date you, he will bring it up.

So be content to just hang out with him for now and let it progress naturally back into something more.

What if he is seeing someone else?  Bummer!  But don’t let that kill everything.  Unless they are married or engaged, there is still hope.  Tell him he can invite her, too, and make sure you are cordial to her.  You don’t have to befriend her but don’t treat her badly.  Be polite.  Let him know that you are happy for him if he is happy.  And then just wait and see how it all comes out.  If she is the one for him, they will stay together.  If he is still feeling you, he will eventually let you know.  He could be seeing her (and others) because he is trying to get over you.  Or because he didn’t think he had a chance with you.  For now just resume the friendship by touching base with him once a week.  If he wants more contact, again, he will initiate on his own.
Patience might be key in this situation, so just keep dating other guys and continue the friendship.  If it is meant to be, things will work out.

If you’d like more specific advice, contact me or another dating coach.

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