11 Things Happily Married Couples Never Post On Social Media
Happy, healthy couples would never compromise their relationship for clicks.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Many people make social media posts gushing about their significant other, only to hide the fact that the relationship is not going well. Behind this facade is the worry that their partner will leave them and everyone will find out. Posting about their relationship is usually just an attempt at staying in control when they feel something is going wrong. And since they can't control their partner, they instead choose to control the narrative around the relationship.
However, there are numerous things happily married couples never post on social media, as they are far too busy focusing on nurturing their relationship in the real world. Their social media presence is strictly for them, and their partner honors their privacy by respecting their boundaries. These couples would never air something so private and intimate and, as a result, their relationships thrive.
Here are 11 things happily married couples never post on social media
1. Public fights and disagreements
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As entertaining as it may seem to other people online, happily married couples never post about any fights or disagreements they have. Publicly calling out a partner over a squabble can not only embarrass them, but also damages trust in the relationship. What might feel like a moment of venting can quickly spiral into an argument.
When you invite other people into your personal business, expect them to have opinions on not just their behavior but yours as well. No one is a saint and posting so publicly can have long-term consequences. Even if you and your partner reconcile after, the damage to their image is done and there is no coming back from that.
2. Overly personal details about their lives
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One of the most essential things happily married couples never post on social media is personal details about their lives and relationship. When one partner posts overly personal details about their relationship online, they open the door for others to criticize them and their partner.
Marriage is challenging, but airing out your dirty laundry with everyone rarely helps, even if you are just looking for sympathy. Couples should communicate directly by resolving issues behind closed doors instead of seeking sympathy from strangers.
As psychology professor Omri Gillath explained, excessive personal disclosure online can damage relationships and intimacy, especially when partners learn about significant life events from public posts instead of private conversations. Happily married couples communicate with each other first before bringing others into their conversations. A strong partnership comes from how they view the relationship with each other, rather than what the world thinks about it.
3. Constantly bragging about their relationship
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Unhappy couples will constantly brag about their relationship. While it's normal to be proud of the relationship you're in, it can become excessive when it's all you talk about. Bragging about your relationship online can also cause other people to try and poach your partner. "Mate poaching" is a very real phenomenon where people seek relationships with married or taken individuals based simply on the fact that they are already with someone.
But by not bragging, happy couples protect each other's privacy. Their love story belongs to them and them alone. There's no need for validation from the masses to prove their love. Their bond thrives everyday by simply showing up for each other, not the world.
4. Complaints about their partner
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Happy couples rarely complain about their partner to other people because they know that not only would it hurt their relationship, it would also get back to their partner eventually. Nothing good comes from complaining about someone if you're never going to directly confront them. It's actually more respectful to come forward and tell the person you're with how they hurt you, rather than let them live a lie.
Complaints often arise from a desire for attention, understanding, or emotional support. But despite the intention, chronic complaining can break down trust, making partners feel criticized or unappreciated.
Airing grievances online can lead to misunderstandings. Everyone has their version of the story, and unless each side reveals theirs, no one should just take yours into account.
5. Flirtatious comments toward others
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Flirting with other people online is something happily married couples would never do or post so openly about on social media. Posting flirtatious remarks publicly can blur the lines of what's appropriate in a marriage, and can even lead a couple to divorce, according to a study published in Computers in Human Behavior.
But couples who are confident in their bond know that social media can cause jealousy, resentment, and infidelity if they spend too long immersed in it. They set expectations and boundaries with each other as a way of saying that flirting with other people in their presence, online or in-person, is where they draw the line.
Couples should never invite others online into their relationship, especially if they don't want to risk losing the person they love. They might risk losing someone that meant everything to them, all for someone hiding behind a screen.
6. One-sided appreciation posts
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Most people want their partner to be obsessed with them to the point where they show them off on social media, gushing about them. But sometimes, this can be one-sided. One person might make a long and loving post about their partner, but it will never be reciprocated in the same way or even at all. It shows a darker side to posting about relationships and makes the poster seem slightly desperate for their partner's attention.
Remember: strong couples don't need validation and rarely need to post grand gestures if they are already treating their partners right. A constant stream of one-sided praise is an overcompensation for what's really missing in the relationship.
7. Every little detail of their day together
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Happily married couples understand that not every moment together needs to be shared online. In fact, the same study published in Computers in Human Behavior found that people who don't use social media are 11% happier in their marriage, compared to those who use it regularly. This is because oversharing brings unnecessary scrutiny.
When a couple shows every part of their day, followers begin to interpret their relationship through a distorted lens by living through them. It becomes uncomfortable when people around you know more about the ins and outs of your relationship than you do.
The only way documenting everything works is when you keep some things to yourself and show the world an authentic version of your relationship, but even then it won't last long.
8. Comparisons to other couples
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Comparing their relationship to that of others is one of the things happily married couples never post on social media. Instead, happy couples focus on nurturing their bonds, not trying to figure out how another couple is better than them.
When couples begin comparing themselves to others, it can breed unnecessary insecurity and competition. Relationship comparisons on social media lead to lower relationship satisfaction, as a 2018 study revealed. In fact, social network sites allow people to present themselves in ways that reflect their ideal self-views by emphasizing desirable traits and hiding flaws.
These profiles are sometimes not authentic, and it can show in their body language. They don't show the full picture like the arguments; rather, some couples measure how well they're doing based on how their couple friends' relationships are going.
9. Financial details about the things they buy
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Happy married couples keep the details of their spending habits private because they value financial security over social validation. Even with close family and friends, they never announce how much or how little money they have.
Sharing financial details on social media can also open the door to possible hacking or identity theft. People who know how much money you have can also tell a lot about how the two of you spend your money and whether or not you're overspending. It's not only damaging to the relationship, but can be quite dangerous.
Overspending is the most common kept secret among couples, with 38% of people saying that keeping a financial secret is just as bad as physical infidelity. Couples who are confident in their partnership don't feel the need to explain or justify how they spend their money. Instead, they make the decisions together — privately and respectfully.
10. Excessive public displays of affection
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Couples who share general affectionate posts like traveling photos tend to be happier, whereas excessive or performative photos that are staged show that a couple is unhappy behind the scenes. The more photos with affection that are posted, the more insecure the couple is in the relationship.
But posting lovey-dovey, affectionate photos or videos is one of the things happily married couples never post on social media. This can create unrealistic expectations and even discomfort for others. Happy couples are mindful of boundaries, not just with each other but with their audience online. They know that a healthy relationship doesn't require constant approval from the digital world.
11. Anything their partner wouldn't approve of
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Happily married couples understand that mutual respect is the foundation of their relationship, and that extends to how they present each other online. They never post anything their partner wouldn't approve of, whether it's questionable photos, private jokes, or a rant about a disagreement.
It's not about control, it's just that these couples value their partner's autonomy to an extent, like if the post is disrespectful towards them. No one wants to be disrespected online or even embarrassed, but sometimes our insecurities get the better of us. Social media has us constantly comparing our lives to others, and this can be detrimental to any marriage.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
