11 Signs He's Tired Of You (And Fed Up With Your Relationship)
Among other behaviors, unusually poor communication and sudden selfishness could be signs that a man is growing tired of the relationship.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock At one point or another, almost everyone has been in a relationship where they are just fed up and over it. It’s awful when someone gets tired of you. In most cases, when someone is fed up with a relationship, they tend to walk away. But from what I’ve seen, most do not. More often, people will either wait for the relationship to end naturally or wait until it’s more convenient for them to leave the other party behind.
If you're on the receiving end of this, you might want to know what signs to look for that he's tired of you and your relationship so you don't end up holding on for no reason. The only surefire way to know how someone else is feeling is to ask them, but if you aren't sure and don't want to ask, you can pay attention to whether or not you notice certain behaviors and nonverbal cues.
These are 11 signs he's tired of you and fed up with your relationship
1. He's distant
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Any sort of affectionate display or discussion seems to annoy, repulse, or anger him. When someone is really sick of a person, they don’t want to see that person. They don’t want to snuggle up to that person, and they may even be just on the verge of snapping at that person.
This comes about because they are sick of seeing them or even having to speak to them. If you’ve become an obvious source of annoyance, he’s probably fed up with having you around.
2. He jokes about hurting you
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I’m a firm believer that a person’s jokes tell what is really on their mind. If he’s regularly joking about hitting you or leaving you, then there’s a good chance that he’s deeply angry with you, so much so that it's gotten to the point that he’s regularly thinking of hurting you.
As the Mend Project shared, "Weaponized joking is an emotionally abusive tactic commonly used by abusers, and it is often the first sign of what will be an abusive relationship."
"Genuine, intelligent humor doesn’t come at someone else's expense," they emphasized.
3. You feel uneasy around him
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If the man you love is tired of you, you may feel like you have to tiptoe around him in order to keep the relationship going. A good way to figure out if he’s fed up with you in this situation is to check your gut feeling. If you get the feeling like you need to handle everything with care just to keep him from leaving or exploding, then it’s pretty likely that he’s fed up.
"It can be helpful to talk about this with trusted friends and family, or a therapist," notes licensed therapist Terri Cole. "You might be so conditioned to what you are experiencing you don’t even recognize it as the problem it actually is."
4. He's stopped communicating with you
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He used to complain or try to talk about issues in the relationship, but now, he’s stopped. Most women I’ve met see the sudden end to complaining as a good thing, but it’s often a sign that the relationship is pretty much over.
If a guy is trying to talk to you about something that is seriously bothering him, he still believes that the relationship can be salvaged. If he stops trying to discuss it or attempt to make it better, it’s because he’s done trying to make it better and because he’s checked out of the relationship.
5. He has an icy demeanor
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Ever have to deal with someone that you hated? If so, you already probably knew that it’s really difficult not to be cold towards them. If he’s got an icy disposition towards you these days, it could be one of the signs he's tired of you.
If that's the case for you, Leon F Seltzer, Ph.D., suggests, "The first step in facilitating your partner’s willingness to return emotionally to the relationship is identifying the main cause(s) for his or her having distanced themselves in the first place. Assuming that your partner hasn't irretrievably moved on (e.g., through an affair you’re not yet privy to), it would be wise to tentatively draw up a list of the possibilities that might best account for the withdrawal."
6. He's become consistently selfish
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Generally speaking, when a guy is totally done with a relationship, the relationship starts becoming all about him. He will only talk to you when it’s convenient for you, he will only make plans he wants to make, and you will drop to his last priority.
This means that if you’re constantly feeling like you’re putting in all the effort, it’s probably because he’s over it.
7. He rages at you without warning
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Does he regularly lash out in anger at the littlest of things? This isn’t a good sign. At best, he’s fed up with you and the relationship. At worst, you’re dealing with an abuser.
Austin Rausch, MS, LPCC, LICDC, stated, "While anger is a natural and healthy emotion, problems arise when it becomes disproportionate to the situation."
When deciding if you should stay, he suggests taking into consideration his willingness to change (or lack thereof), whether or not he recognizes his anger issues, and whether he is willing to seek therapy.
8. If you try to approach him about his behavior, you get stonewalled or he explodes
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A guy who still wants a relationship to exist will talk things out and do what he can to make sure that you two make it through. A guy who is totally fed up with you, on the other hand, will not.
The reason is that he will not see any use in talking to you about it anymore. If you can’t get any answers out of him or he ignores you, it’s a sign that the relationship needs to come to a close.
9. His friends have started to be hateful toward you
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This is a bad sign. When this happens, it means that he’s been venting to his friends about you, and what he’s been saying about you isn’t the least bit nice. If your relationship with his friends is permanently wrecked, the relationship between the two of you probably won’t be salvageable anytime soon.
That said, you can make new friends who pay attention to you and don't give you disinterested responses. The same logic can be applied to a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner, too.
10. He's started spending less time with you
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It used to be that you were joined at the hip. Nowadays, it’s anything but! You literally have to fight to get him to reply to you via text, and he constantly cancels dates at the last minute. Sound familiar? If so, it’s a sign he's tired of you and your relationship.
Dating advice guru Dear Abby's advice in this kind of situation is sweet and simple.
"Stop begging him to see you," she wrote. "You feel unappreciated because you are. Let things ride for now but quit telling him how needy you are. Get online and start meeting people. Other, more rewarding, relationships are possible."
11. He’s asked you for space
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We all know what it means when a man wants space, and I shouldn’t have to tell you. Space is normal for every couple. But if your partner isn't looking forward to spending time with you, it means that you’re most likely going to have permanent time apart.
According to Dr. Susan Pazak, clinical psychologist and relationship coach, "A partner growing tired of a relationship is a common complaint I hear in my sessions individually and in couples coaching. The first step is to verbalize the concern and feelings associated. The awareness of your partner being tired will allow you to gather information and gain insight as to what is troubling about the relationship. It is important to dig deeper and ask your partner, 'What are you tired of?'"
Once the specifics are identified, that is a problem with a solution, and change can begin.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
