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Why You Should Get Married When You Fall Out Of Love, According To Science

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Science Explains The Reason People Fall Out Of Love
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Love

Makes sense.

Love is a very tricky thing.

Sometimes you have it, then just as quickly as it came along, you lose it. One minute you're head over heels in love, and then in a blink of an eye, something changes. You start to realize the feelings you had for that other person aren't as strong as they once were. 

Why do people fall out of love? 

Thanks to science, we have a clearer idea of why people fall out of love.

A 30-year study carried out by Dr. Fred Nour has given us more insight into the evolutionary component of falling out of love. Dr. Nour discovered that people fall out of love in the early stages of a new relationship so they can rationalize whether or not their partner is "parent material".

Dr. Nour's research, which he published in his book True Love: Love Explained By Science, explains that evolution has programmed the brain to cut off the supply of lust hormones (which would be your testosterone and estrogen) as you get to the point where the idea of marriage and starting a family starts becoming more concrete. This is commonly known as the end of the "honeymoon phase," when you start to look at your partner in a different light and begin subconsciously evaluating their viability as a spouse and parent.

Speaking about his study, Dr. Nour stated, “My research suggests that every phase of love, from the initial feelings of giddy euphoria to a lifelong partnership, has an underlying evolutionary purpose. At some pivotal point in a relationship, one or both parties will experience a reduction in brain chemicals that can be best described, albeit in a tongue-in-cheek fashion, as Sprog Fog. This serves as an important evolutionary function in that it allows people to step back from the temporary insanity of lust and romance to objectively consider their partner’s suitability as a potential mother or father.”

Dr. Nour’s study also argues that the brain is hardwired to turn off its supply of "monoamines" (like the feel-good chemicals dopamine and serotonin) after two to three years. Dr. Nour believes that this is why the majority of new relationships enter a rocky patch and what's known as the "seven-year itch" causing lack of excitement, boredom, and resentment, which Dr. Nour calls the "Falling Out of Love" phase, which he says is key to assessing whether or not your partner will make a good lifetime mate.

That is a lot to take in, but it totally makes sense. 

Dr. Nour said it best when he stated, “Love is seen as some sort of mysterious force, but it is fully explainable by science. If couples hang back on getting married until the falling out of love phase has concluded then those that still wish to wed will be far more likely to remain married for the rest of their lives, and will experience the deeply rewarding joys of true love. Good things really do come to those who wait.”

The point is people fall in and out of love all the time, it's just a natural part of life. Everyone goes through heartbreak, but it always comes with a lesson learned, and another step closer to finding your true match.


​​Brittany White is a 26-year-old Journalism Major from Orlando, Florida who has been interning for YourTango since early 2016.

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