9 Reasons It's Completely Okay (And Normal) For A Strong Woman To Need A Man

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Since when was solitude the marker of strength?

One of my biggest pet peeves as a single mom is when people tell me how strong I am; that I'm so strong, I don’t need a man. When manual labors present themselves, random friends from the “friend choir” will say, “You can do it yourself! I do it myself. I don’t need a man.”

Don’t get me wrong. I can do plenty myself. I'm very independent and I run a household alone and have for almost four years. I consider myself a feminist too, but since when was needing someone so terrible?

Okay, so “needing” someone in a needy, clingy way is a turn-off. Codependency is a turn-off. Needing someone in your life to partner with you is not. It’s really more about wanting a strong partner.

Why does being a feminist or a strong woman have to translate as not needing a man (or woman, depending on your preference)? There are many reasons why strong women need men and why it's normal. She should never have to apologize for it. Here's why.

1. Teamwork makes the dream work.

A strong woman has a great foundation in which a partnership can build something even more fabulous. There’s nothing wrong with going solo, but wanting a partner to carry out big dreams and ideas is great.

Sorry haters, but it takes two to row a boat. There’s no shame of wanting someone on board the ship.


RELATED: If You Have Even One Of These 8 Traits, CONGRATS! You're A Strong Woman


2. Every woman or man needs someone.

We don't exist in a vacuum, so why does it make someone weak if a woman wants someone in her life to help her or be by her side? 

Weakness is not necessarily a bad thing if you're weak to something good, like people you love and being open to people. Weakness is a strength. It's when you're weak to bad influences and toxicity that it becomes a problem.

3. Strength isn't defined by solitude.

Since when was being alone the sign of strength? Being alone is a choice, or sometimes, just the way the cards fall.

I would love to meet someone, but I haven't. Being alone is not the test of fortitude. Withstanding difficulties and prevailing over hardships with dignity is the measure of strength, not your dating status.

4. Men aren't the enemy.

Since when were men the enemy? Sure, there are some bad bros out there — I certainly would never, ever deny that — but there are some bad ladies circling about, too.

Men have challenges and hardships too, even if there is male privilege in this world, undeniably. Wanting a man doesn't mean you're sleeping with the enemy. It just makes you a human in need of love and affection. 

5. Humans are meant to love.

Self-love and touch is great, but we are here to love — to give love and be loved.

A strong, confident woman is an amazing partner capable of giving herself and receiving someone else. Wanting a man to love and cherish is simply one of the many reasons we exist and why life is so special.


RELATED: 10 Things Every Man MUST Know Before Marrying A Strong Woman


6. A partner makes you a better person. 

A strong woman can be made greater and be inspired by someone special in her life, not weaker... unless she settles for someone toxic or beneath her. The love of that man can inspire her to do even better things!

7. A partner gives you a different perspective.

If a strong woman wants and needs a man, it's most likely because he brings out another side in her. He sees little things about her and helps them to blossom. He feeds her soul and offers her another way of looking at things.

8. Even strong women need to be lifted up.

No one can be strong day in and day out. We all have periods in which we feel vulnerable and weak. We all have times when we need someone else to carry our load.

To me, it's not strong to refuse help. It's weak and foolish. It's shortsighted. When the strong woman is not feeling strong, she needs shelter, too.

9. Men need women, too.

We are often our best selves when we give ourselves to others. And that strong man? He needs a woman too.

He needs to be loved and needs shelter. He needs comfort when his days are weary. And when we give shelter and heart to others, we are truly our strongest and most beautiful selves.


RELATED: The HUGE Mistake Strong Women Make That Keeps Them Single


Laura Lifshitz will work for chocolate. The former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate is currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, marriage and more for YourTangoNew York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more. Her own website is frommtvtomommy.com.

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