I'm Not Overreacting When I Ask For What I Want (And NEED)

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Love, Self

Stick up for yourself.

I've often been too afraid to ask for what I what. 

Whether it's a raise or for my boyfriend to stop affectionately referring to me as "dude," my go-to approach is to zip it and hope it plays itself out. Needless to say, that doesn't really work. 

It wasn't until I was under the influence of a few Aloha-Tinis that I randomly discovered my voice and told the guy I was seeing that I didn't think we were on the same page, and I wanted to know why.

Up until this moment I did what most girls do when they're feeling weird about a guy: stay quiet and assume everything is doomed. 

The result wasn't true love or anything remotely close to that. Just two people who had an honest conversation about where they were at in life, and coming to the understanding that it wasn't the same place at all.

I asked for what I wanted, realized I wasn't getting it there and was able to move on. 


Sure, it's not the romance story we all hope we're going to get when we're telling a guy we want more, but what's the alternative? Keep quiet and ride the relationship out as long as possible?

Spend even more time not getting what I want and feeling crappy about it? 

Uh, no. 

Being honest and direct cuts out all the bullshit.

You won't waste months chasing after a guy who's only interested in bootycalls for now. You won't waste away at a job you hate because you're too afraid to apply for one you actually want. You stop living a life you don't want, and start living one that you do. 

There's this awful idea we live under that asking for what we want comes off as too demanding. That we'll be seen as high maintenance or selfish and everyone will be totally put off by it. 

Okay well:  

1. Who gives a giant poo what anyone else thinks, and

2. People who are put off by people who are confident enough to ask for what they want are people who are too insecure to do it themselves. 


Like everything in life, practice makes perfect. The next time you find yourself in a situation where you're about to put up with something you don't want — or that you're about to let something you do want pass you by — make a move. Ask for it.

Reach out your hand and see what happens. 

You might get it; you might not.

But guaranteed that whatever happens will be a whole lot more exciting than what you're doing now.