5 Things You Must Consider Before Reuniting

couple in bed
Love, Heartbreak

The road to getting back together is a two way street.

Getting back together is something many broken couples consider. Many couples consider it, but only some should actually do it. This is because being reunited does indeed feel so good for some people, but others find themselves on a relationship treadmill; they run and run, but they still end up where they started. 

So how do you know when the signs point to getting back together or point towards staying apart? The answer isn't clear cut for everyone. Your relationship is unique even if it does have elements similar to other partnerships. Still, there are places you can look to gauge your relationship's signs of potential, and whether they encourage reconciliation or moving on. You can look for signs by looking at the following:

  1. Your Past: You and your partner broke up for a reason; maybe it was a good reason, maybe it was a bad reason, or maybe it was something in the middle. Whatever it was doesn't really matter if you're considering getting back together. What matters is whether or not you'll be able to do three things: forgive each other, move past your issues, and keep it from happening again.
  2. Yourselves: People in breakups do a mean impersonation of that Uncle Sam poster trying to recruit Americans for the armed services; they point fingers like champs. But the truth is that a breakup rarely — if ever — has to do with one person's flaws; rather it has to do with both of those involved. So both people — if a relationship is to go a second round — must work on whatever issues they brought to the table. If they do this, then getting back together can be a wonderful decision. If they don't, it can be one riddled with frustration.
  3. What You Want: You and your partner may want similar things or you may want very different things. If you fall into the former category, getting back together is much more applicable. If you fall into the latter category, however, then you may very well be destined to be ships simply passing in the night. This, of course, depends on your differences. One person wanting children and another person not wanting them will be a much bigger issue than one person wanting hardwood floors and the other wanting carpet.
  4. Why: Perhaps the biggest thing to weigh when considering getting back together is "Why?" There are good reasons to reconcile and reasons that aren't so good. If you genuinely love one another and regret that you let each other get away, getting back together is a road worthy of going down. But if you want to reconcile simply because you don't want to end up living alone with a herb of obligatory feral cats, getting back together probably isn't the answer.
  5. Your Problems: A relationship without problems is like the DMV without a line or an insurance policy without a deductible; it's extremely rare. But, as normal as problem may be, their severity is something you should look at if you're considering getting back together. A problem that is a one-time, two-time, or irregular thing may not be an issue, but a problem that is chronic will be one.

Reuniting with an ex is a choice that is yours — and theirs — to make; no one else can make that decision for you, but looking at the above issues will help you to decide what tune your partnership is singing — a Peaches and Herb song or one by Taylor Swift.

To learn more about getting back together, click here.