3 Things Deeply Irresistible Women Do More Often
There's a reason people can't stop thinking about them.
MR ARIF | Canva So many insecurities come from how we look on the outside. We believe that to be deeply irresistible, we must look like supermodels. Women tend to scrutinize their looks (and each other’s). For instance, I like my eyes but wish I had a smaller waist.
An irresistible woman is not rated on any numerical scale. If you are irresistible — that is it. The rest is up to the intangibles, a combination of personality, background, life goals, and an attitude to separate you from the rest.
Here are three things deeply irresistible women do more often:
1. Claim their power without apology
Deeply irresistible women wield a lot more power over men than many realize. Men are sensitive to a woman’s emotional disposition. They may not say anything or be able to articulate why they find one woman attractive versus another, but a man feels what you feel.
Dating coach Janet Ong Zimmerman explained, "His actions speak louder than his words when he cares about your well-being. His words match his deeds, his actions consistently communicate you are a priority, and he's excited to know you as a person (not just an intimate partner)."
If you are uptight, pessimistic, or fearful, he will feel that and react either by trying to make you feel better or, more often, by running away because he doesn’t like feeling that way.
Has a guy ever told you another woman was “cool”? This cool woman may not seem like the most physically attractive to you, but somehow every guy she meets finds her attractive. That is because guys are drawn to her emotional disposition.
So, what does this mean for you? Your outlook on life, emotional state, and views on men matter. Leave all the previous failed relationships and bad dates at home when you go out on a date. Embrace life and the opportunities it gives you now.
Taking ownership of your disposition means he can open up and trust you to be the safe harbor for his emotions. He perceives you to have your act together and that you are on his side. This is incredibly important for men because they don’t often get to reveal their true selves to people.
2. Bring lighteness wherever they go
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Most highly eligible men have stressful jobs, and a lot is demanded of them. After all, they didn’t become successful and highly sought-after by being lazy. Thus, they want to unwind, relax, and have fun in their downtime.
It takes effort even for the most charismatic, outgoing man to be entertaining, let alone the more introverted man. The world demands he be a certain way to bestow the kind of respect highly eligible men want. Every day is a competition with other men for respect and status.
When dating a woman, he is also working hard to think of ways to entertain you so that you find him attractive and worthy of you. It is exhausting.
Imagine these two different experiences from his perspective:
You have to work hard to figure out how to make this girl laugh and enjoy herself. Maybe it is going to a fancy Italian restaurant, maybe it is to a jazz bar, maybe it is a walk in the park, or maybe it is going camping. Maybe she will laugh if you say this. Maybe she will think you are cool if you tell her you did X-Y-Z.
If she doesn’t laugh or seem to enjoy herself at your first attempt to do something, you have to try something else. It may be OK for a little bit to get the girl, but to have to do that for a lifetime.
The alternative: A woman tells you what she likes to do. You make plans for the two of you to do it. She is having a lot of fun and engaging with you. It doesn’t matter what the two of you are doing; she seems to be having fun and relaxed. Being with her feels easy. You begin to relax and have fun.
A man wants to be successful in making you happy. Life is better with you that way. A deeply irresistible woman offers him an escape from the demands of everyday life.
Life coach Ann Papayoti asked a group of men what they love about dating. "The men felt they had a simple checklist and were looking for personality, appearance, and intelligence. They expounded, saying they greatly appreciate a woman who will banter playfully, using and allowing humor to ease the nervousness both likely feel. They also enjoy a woman who offers to share the bill or some part of it; it doesn't mean they will agree, but the offer to contribute is important as they feel she is being considerate."
3. They own their accomplishments without downplaying them
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Break it out into two things: Action and reward. Action can be any act done that includes physical, spoken, or unspoken words.
Physical acts include opening the door and making a restaurant reservation. Spoken acts can be saying you look gorgeous or giving you quality advice. Unspoken acts include remembering your birthday or giving you space to go out with your girlfriends.
The reward he is looking for is an acknowledgment of success. It can be anything from a smile to a verbal thank you to a hug and kiss.
The deeper reason this means so much to him? He feels like a man — successful, a hero, a provider. Men are often not given a lot of emotional validation by society, but they deserve some, too, right?
Developing these three deeply irresistible attitudes takes practice. Start slowly and see how men react to you. You will know you have learned the three attitudes when you notice how many men are proactively being helpful to you. Start slowly and form a support group to encourage you.
Jasmine Von Hatch is a dating and relationship coach specializing in communication problems, empowering women, online dating, relationships, and more.
