3 Steps To Fix Your Marriage (Without The Use Of Gender Roles)

Love, Self

This Cinderella is rescuing herself. She is her own knight in shining armor.

The relationships we see on TV and the movies are generally not very realistic. Yet the images and storylines sink in and affect our belief systems from a very young age.

When I was younger, I watched Leave it to Beaver on TV. The Cleavers modeled the "perfect family," but there was nothing realistic about it. It seemed like my family followed that model. There was rarely an argument or a raised voice and everyone tried to be nice all the time.

Of course, none of that is realistic. To have great relationships, you have to be able to talk about things effectively rather than sweep them under the table. Most people do not know how to do this. The art of conversation is not something we learned in school. If your parents modeled healthy conversation with each other and with you, you can consider yourself very lucky.

As kids, we watched Disney movies like Rapunzel about the man rescuing the woman and then expecting her hand in marriage in return. The idea of women needing to be rescued is passé.

It is time to empower women more and more. That is what they yearn for; be it conscious or subconscious.

We've also watched a lot of TV and movies over time where the woman did all the domestic work and the man was the breadwinner. Not everyone is happy with that model anymore. Some people think they should be happy with those roles and do their best to live them out while suppressing their true selves and desires.

I was with a group of women friends the other day who have a lot of anger about these old roles, especially since they are the breadwinners and still are expected to do most of the domestic work.

We also see a lot of cheating and promiscuity in the movies and on TV. Does that make it ok? It certainly does not make for a sustainable relationship in my humble opinion.

I like a good movie and TV show as much as the next person, however, it is important to discern that what you watch affects your brain at subconscious levels more than you know and can certainly affect your perspective.

Here are some tips to shift your perspective and get your marriage mojo back on track:

  1. Be willing to talk about things as they come up. Never go to bed mad.
  2. Give up being righteous. Instead seek to understand the other's point of view. That will open up the conversation to see what else is possible that you did not know.
  3. Always intend to find win-win solutions that work for both of you.

Learn more about how to shift your perspective in your marriage and other areas of your life.