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The 3 Different Ways People Find A Soulmate (And How Yours Will Affect Your Future)

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follow your heart relationships
Love, Self

What's your approach to love?

When it comes to dating and finding a soulmate, there are so many things to consider — and each of us approaches dating differently. Some of us follow our heart, while others let our mind and body lead the way.

You might realize how attractive your date is to you. This is a physical response felt in your body to their appearance, the way they carry themselves, and how they speak.

Once you start talking to them, you'll use your mind to develop thoughts and judgments about them as a person, based on things they like or the qualities they exhibit. 

After you get to know them a bit better, you'll follow your heart and begin to understand how you feel about them on an emotional level.

However, each of us tends to place more importance on one of these three elements: the physical sensations experiences with the person, the thoughts associated with the person, or the feelings evoked by the person. Each of these approaches to dating corresponds to a "center of self."

There are three centers of self: the body, the heart, and the head. Depending on our personality type, we each are drawn to one of these centers, more so than the others. We tend to filter the world around us and our experiences through that primary center of self first.

Of course, we all use all three centers of self regularly. But our dominant center of self dictates how we interact with and perceive the world around us — either with our senses first, our emotions first, or our thoughts first. That's why understanding your personality type's leading center of self can help you in your approach to finding a soulmate.

So what does it mean if you follow your heart, or let your mind and body guide you?


RELATED: 9 Powerful Tips for Building a Good Relationship


Here’s what you need to know about your three centers of self, plus how to use your primary center of self to find your soulmate:

Body Center

Those of us rooted in the body center experience the world through the five senses. If you are in the body center, you likely excel at leadership and have a strong inner knowing of what you are meant to do in life.

Your challenge is to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Notice when you are becoming intimidating. You often close your heart to protect yourself from getting hurt. You might find it hard to be with a person from the heart center, who is always trying to get your attention or soak up all their love for you.

Heart Center

If your personality type is guided by the heart center, you're rooted in your feelings and emotions and tend to ignore the body and head centers. These heart-based ways of perceiving serve as your primary means of connecting with people, circumstances, and the world around you. But, it can also cause you to blindly follow emotion and want to live vicariously through others.

If you are in the heart center, you are good at sensing what others need. You are hungry for heart-to-heart conversations; yet, you are challenged to take care of yourself. You might find it difficult to be a head-centered person, who finds it hard to feel what is going on in their heart and connect deeply with their emotions.

Head Center

Those guided by the head center possess what is called a "monkey mind," meaning their minds are constantly filled with thoughts and running internal dialogue, which takes them away from their heart and body. If you are in the head center, you are great at observing, learning, and evaluating and have a passion for ideas. You like to make sense out of the experiences you have in the world.

However, it can be difficult for you to get out of your head, which causes you to think what you are feeling, rather than actually experiencing the emotions. This makes it challenging for you to read — and connect with — emotions in others and also might make you prone to anxiety or trust issues. You might find it hard to be in a relationship with a person in the body center, since they tend to act before they think, which is opposite of you.


RELATED: Which Enneagram Personality Type Are You? (And How It Affects Your Relationships And Love Life)


No matter which center of self is most dominant in your approach to dating, listening to all three will help you find a partner that speaks to you on every level — which is a recipe for long-lasting love.

Roland Legge offers life and executive coaching through REL Consultants for individuals and organizations to help them to be the best they can be. For more information, please arrange for a free 30-minute discovery call by phoning Roland at 306-620-7478 or click on “Discovery Call” to book a time on his calendar

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