So You Got Engaged To MY Son? Confessions Of A Monster-In-Law


Do you want to know what I am really thinking now that you have a ring on your finger?

A letter to my future daughter-in-law:

Thats it you've done it! You're married and he is going to be yours now. You were able to display enough integrity, devotion, kindness, and virtue to inspire him to take you upon an altar and swear his undying devotion to you in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, until death do you part.

Well! I could not be happier! You may not believe it now, because until you see or feel a son or daughter so enveloped in the life of another woman or man, will you really come to know how it feels. Oh I can't blame you. I have been in your shoes, and God knows I'm a challenge to deal with! But, what you don't know is that I did the same for him.

This is how the story goes. I swore my undying devotion until the day I die, on the day he was given to me by the Lord Almighty. Truth be told, I didn't know what I was doing. Knowing better now, I realize my covenant will probably transcend death, and from the other side, I will continue to love and pray for him. However, it will not only be him. 

It will be my new daughter too. You see, my son sees you with my heart. The heart I helped shape and mold. He may have different hair than I, tattoos on his skin, hobbies I don't like, or taste in clothes I don't approve of, but I shaped his heart. I can see through his heart, and that is a bond that inspires me to love and respect what he finds beautiful and sacred.

Dear future daughter-in-law, you will be my daughter too. This means you will be privy to my wonderful range of emotions, be there as I go through menopause, listen to my 150 opinions on why your children need this or that example, or even why you should have place cards at the wedding.  But don't let that confuse you. 

We may not share in the same hobbies, not agree on clothing styles, or how often you need to cook for him. But you will have a piece of me inside your home until the day you die. Your children will carry my genes, maybe my moods, and might even have my taste in food.  Ah, yes! I will not die in the grave, my life will continue on through you too.

This having been said, you must know by now that as he fell in love with you, so did I. One of the cruelest things in life is divorce, because both children and in-laws frequently end up having to terminate or lessen a relationship with someone they will consider family for life. 

So, it's important that you know that I love you too. And, when I love someone I'm honest with them. I worry about them. I give them help, support, and advice. Advice you might not always welcome, and that is okay too.

Will I criticize you someday? Probably. Will I say more than I should have? Probably. Will you always be happy to see me? Probably not.  But, the joy you bring to my son, and my grandchildren will always be enough for me to love YOU.  And, when we love someone we only wish them happiness.

With love,

Your Future Mother-In-Law