Why The 'Sex And The City' Ladies Are The Worst Role Models EVER

Sex therapy
Love, Sex

Why would you ever want to be like man-chasing Carrie?

Do you have a role model when it comes to dating? Someone you look up to? Someone whose life you wish you had? I have to admit, I used to wish that my dating life was as exciting as the women of 'Sex and The City'.

I was completely obsessed with 'Sex and The City'. I admired the fashion, the shoes, the men and the friendship between four charismatic and beautiful women. Me and my friends used to talk about which 'Sex & The City' character we were. I was somehow a morphed version of Carrie, Samantha and Charlotte. Women all over the world wanted to identify with these women.

With all these recent rumors of a potential 'Sex and The City 3' movie, let's just say these women have been top of mind once again. So when I was feeling a bit sick one day, I got all comfy and started watching reruns.

Now that I'm not single, a new insight hit me: these women are probably the worst role models for single women looking for love. Here's why. 

Carrie: She was chasing a man for 10 years. 

Let's start with Carrie Bradshaw. What a sexy life she led … or did she?

Carrie spent 10 years of her hot, prime years chasing a Big ghost. A guy who broke her heart in a million pieces, not once, not twice but several times, and needed over a decade to commit to her.

When put it into perspective, she doesn't sound like such a great role model for women dating, does she?

As revolutionary as this TV series was, you don't want Carrie's life. You don't want to waste your youth chasing a Big ghost. You don't want to spend time and energy on men who aren't into you. What a waste of your time and beauty. I really don't want that for you.

You want to spend your prime years dating lots of emotionally available, commitment-minded, men who are also charming, intelligent and your type of sexy. You want to have fun dating all of them until you meet the man for you. That's what you want to do.

Samantha: She was afraid of love. 

Next up we have Samantha Jones. Where do I begin?! Portrayed as a role model for sexually liberated women, she spent over a decade protecting herself from pain by hiding from commitment, all while having loads of meaningless, robotic, sex. She decides at the end of the final movie that a relationship is not her thing and ends it with a really nice, hot guy who really loves her. By this stage, she's hit menopause. She's not look hot forever or have the same sex drive that she's always had.

Despite all this, her commitment phobia is so strong, that she would rather be lonely than in a relationship. What is there to worship about that? I'm all for sexual liberation, but Samantha wasn't actually liberated. Samantha feared experiencing true love and all that came with it. 

Charlotte: She lived in a perfectly crafted fantasty land. 

Charlotte. Pretty, sophisticated with massive control issues to boot. Charlotte never enjoyed dating. She spent all her single years complaining and fell apart whenever something was less than perfect. She changed her religion for a man, which was a pattern she had in all her relationships because she had no idea who she was and what she wanted. Infertility issues and motherhood slowly helped Charlotte understand she can't control everything, but the single Charlotte was a perfect mess, constantly disappointed and lost.

Miranda: She lost her feminine touch and couldn't get it back. 

Miranda. The first one to settle down and come down to earth, but not without her own issues. Miranda was not in touch with her feminine side at all and was always moody and depressive because like Charlotte, she too wanted so badly to control her life. She got better with time, but the single Miranda was trying to control her dating life so much she visibly never enjoyed herself.

Thank goodness Steve came into her life, along with motherhood. Even while married however, her complete disconnect with the softer side of her feminine-power contributed to her not prioritising her sex life. Generally, if issues are left unsolved during your single years, they only get worse with marriage.

Sorry to burst the glamour bubble, but it's time to let go of the 'Sex and the City' fantasy and get yourself a better role model. Dating should be fun. It should be a beautiful part of your life, one where you own your inner power and confidently explore your options.

Your single years are years that are so precious so live them to the fullest. Don't spend 10 years searching for a Big Ghost, scared to fall in love, scared to lose control and scared to be a sensual woman. Accept the beauty that you are and live that beauty, seizing each day.

Do you have a role model when it comes to love and relationships? If so, please share who you look up to and what makes her such a great role mode.

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