5 Ways To Find Love When You're Dealing With Depression

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5 Ways to Find Love When You Are Dealing with Depression
Love, Self

It's not impossible.

Finding love is hard enough. Finding love when you are dealing with depression can seem completely overwhelming and hopeless.

But it doesn’t have to be! I am here to tell you that you can find love and learn how to love when you're depressed

I would know. Because I have found love myself despite my depression: 

1. Believe.

Before you begin your quest for love, you have to believe that you'll find it.

When you are depressed, it’s hard to believe that anything good will ever happen to you again. When you are depressed, your mind just can’t possibly conceive that anything will ever be okay because it is chemically hardwired to believe that everything is hopeless.

But it’s not. The world will not end because you are depressed and you will find love.

But you gotta believe!

2. Ask for help.

Many of us just live with our depression. We believe that admitting that we are sad will make us seem weak, that our friends will shun us, and that our family will turn their backs.

This just isn’t true. Someone who seeks help for her depression is a strong and brave woman.

So ask for help. See a psychiatrist about giving you medication. Seek a therapist to talk through your issues. Spend time with friends who make you laugh and don’t judge you. Take your dog for a walk and get some fresh air.

Don’t do it alone. Dealing with your depression will make you stronger and more capable of being successful in your search for love.

RELATED: 10 Agonizing Truths Depressed People Never Talk About

3. Put yourself out there.

I know! When you are depressed there is nothing worse than putting yourself out there. The idea of doing anything other than staying in bed fills you with such an overwhelming sense of dread that you are paralyzed.

An interesting thing happens, though, when you put yourself out there when depressed. Being with people, people who are enjoying themselves can pull you out of your depression, even if just for a while.

Last week, I met a couple at the park who were on an extended first date. They had met the night before when one of them went to a bar trying to escape her sadness.

The bartender saw how she was feeling and introduced her to a group of people having fun. She hit it off with one of those people and when I saw them, 16 hours into their first date, she was happy. And falling in love.

4. Don’t disclose all on your first date.

While it is important to be honest when on a first date, it is not essential that you reveal everything about your mental health. You can admit to some sadness but don’t overwhelm your date with your stories of hopelessness and despair.

You are not your depression. It is a part of your life but it does not define you. Don’t let anyone think that it does. Especially on a first date.

RELATED: Depression Makes Me A Better Lover (And A Better Friend)

5. Remember: you are awesome.

Yes, depression sucks. And it’s painful. And it makes you feel totally un-loveable.

But you aren’t. You are awesome.

I keep handy a list of things about me that I know are great for when I get really depressed. I do a lot of good in this world and have a lot of friends. When I feel really low and completely incapable of touching base with the awesome person that I am, I pull out my list and remember.

I am the person who helps women be happy and who does great work helping people with mental illness and who raised two amazing kids. That person. The one who is depressed today and who might be tomorrow, but the one who took the time to write down how amazing she is when she was happy.

Finding love when you are depressed is not only possible but probable. Those of us who live with depression are tough and women who are tough can do anything!

So believe that you can do it, seek help, put yourself out there, and show everyone how awesome you are.

Love will find you!


Mitzi Bockmann is a New York City-based Certified Life Coach. Contact her for help.

Watch Expert Kimberly Seltzer discuss how to keep your depression in check when you're trying to find love.