Dating: What's Fun Got To Do With It?


Dating can be daunting. But according to the laws of attraction... it can and should be a fun thing.

Dating is about having FUN: When I think of dating, I think "ugh." Just as my clients do, I often slip into the negative thinking. But it doesn't have to be that way.

A memory or preconceived notion can throw us off track quickly and the key is to talk to yourself. You can develop a thought system that encourages instead of discourages so you will "stay open to experiences and allow" them to happen.

The laws of attraction tell us, your thinking guides your outcome. Not just in dating but in anything you want in this lifetime— that's why some of the most unlikely people get the "best breaks" and "find love" when others just sit around too scared or stuck negatively in their thinking to mobilize and do something about it.

Often, love finds us when we aren't trying very hard. Really! It's the trying and all the effort that actually keeps it away from us. Think back to a time when things were going good for you, your life was flowing. You felt charged and most of the things and people in your life just came to you easily. That's because you were juiced up and the law of attraction matched them to you.

For those of you who say, "I've never felt like that," — this article is for you.

Let's start with your thoughts. Everything you think is charged with a negative or positive energy. Like a battery —you're positively charged or negatively charged when you think of dating— your thoughts could be, "I like dating, it's fun." Or, "I hate dating, it's so much work and you meet the weirdest people!" Or, "I'll never meet the right person."

When you are negatively charged, all the trying in the world won't help because people pick up on it. It just doesn't feel right (perhaps not only for you but your date too). Each of the statements above has a real impact on the way you feel. And, dating is about you, and the way you feel. If you feel mostly good about yourself, you look forward to the experience, are open to it, you'll most likely have a good experience. If you are scared, or down on yourself, you'll likely an outcome that reflects your doubtful way of thinking.

So, what do you do if you've been thinking negatively? You've got to find a way to shift your focus. First off, dating isn't about you being "worthy." If you find yourself suffering from low self-esteem, even momentarily, because you've been married for a few decades and off the market or you're just new to the scene, realize that there is NO PERFECT person out there so you don't have to be perfect either.

Often, it's the quirks or imperfections that we fall in love with in a person. Our imperfections make us lovable. So right off the bat if you are focusing on something about yourself that is unacceptable, it will show up in your results. Self-acceptance is important, no matter who you are. If you can get to know yourself and be happy about one or two things, that will put you in a better mood and it will create self-acceptance, a different energy, something to talk about. Also, when you tell yourself you are not up to par in some way, you are projecting onto someone else what you hold to be true and it may not be true to them at all!

Remember, dating is like shopping. Some might take offense at this... But really it’s an important choice. Like deciding to purchase a house or a car or selecting a career, you are finding out what/who turns you on and what's a good match for you. This is the ultimate shopping trip and don't worry, if you get it wrong, you just learn something about yourself and get out there again.

Back to the subject of knowing yourself. Are there some interests and things that turn you on? What do you get excited about? These are good conversation pieces. What do you want in a man or a woman? Your thoughts and your feelings about yourself keep your energy up and you'll also find out if there are any overlaps, or things in common between you two.

When you are on a date, you want to focus on positive things in your life (even if they are just future dreams and desires) — don't make it a therapy session.

Decide what you are looking for. Often, we go shopping with a vague picture or mental note of what we want and need and when we get out there, we see people and things and our clarity improves. All of your dating experiences (good and bad) help us decide what we want more of and what we don’t want, adding a bit more clarity each time. Focus on what you want, again, that charges you positively.

Last, but definitely not least... Give yourself permission to be yourself.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.