8 Elements That Create Intimacy (And What to Do To Get Them Back)

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The 8 Elements of Intimacy and What to Do to Get Them Back

Loss of intimacy is the beginning of the end of any marriage. Learn how you can turn that around.

High levels of intimacy are the most fulfilling aspects of any marriage.

Unfortunately, intimacy is also one of the things that often fades away for many couples. What replaces intimacy are feelings of sadness, resentment, and loneliness. 

Intimacy is the actualized aliveness of love in the relationship. It demonstrates deep caring. Without it, partners will feel empty and neglected.

These are my 8 Elements of intimacy:

  1. Affection and physical touch
  2. Feelings of closeness, connection, and togetherness
  3. Warmth and tenderness towards each other
  4. Sensuality and sexual activity
  5. Deep conversations, feeling understood and valued. 
  6. Presence, compassion, and empathy
  7. Playful banter, lightness, and laughter
  8. Safety, comfort, and trust  

You cannot talk your way into higher levels of intimacy.

Behavioral changes are the only way that intimacy is restored. And you must feel safe to be yourself in order for true intimacy to exist.

People sometimes rationalize that it’s OK to not have the feelings of being "in love" with their partner anymore. They might love them, but no longer feel "in love". They then settle into an unhappy and unfulfilling love life.

These 8 elements of intimacy create the feelings of being "in love".

And if you think back to a time when you felt head-over-heels in love, you will recognize these elements were a normal part of your interactions with your partner.

Want to improve the intimacy in your marriage? It can begin to re-appear as quickly as you can do these things:

  1. Be kind to each other.
  2. Value and appreciate each other.
  3. Accept each other’s perspectives and opinions.
  4. Honor each other’s admirable qualities.
  5. Give freely without expecting something in return.
  6. Be willing to go first to initiate repair of any situation.
  7. Softly ask for your partners’ help to improve your marriage.

This is how an unhappy marriage starts to get better.

All that matters initially is what YOU are willing to do about it. You could be the catalyst for the complete transformation of your marriage

The little things are the big things in any successful relationship.

Talk to Jeff Forte. Sign up for a complimentary Rising Love strategy session to learn what the real issues are between you and your partner, understand what is sabotaging your relationship success and happiness, and have a clear path about what to do to turn things around.

This article was originally published at 90minutemarriagemiracle.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.