3 Ways Viciously Fighting With Him Actually SAVES Your Relationship

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Why Fighting In Relationships Is Actually Important

Read between the lines.

A lot of interesting things happen on the way to having a relationship. Often having a fight can stop a relationship in its tracks. This doesn't have to happen.

In fact, the ironic thing is that the people who are willing to fight with you, are the people who love you.

I remember early on with my wife, asking her with tears in my eyes, during a particularly hard fight, "Why are you still here?" I was shocked she hadn't left when the going got tough. 

With that in mind, here are 3 ways a fighting in relationships actually saves it:

1. You don't have to leave.


If you don't have much experience working through problems, a fight may be the signal you need to tell you that it's time to go. This is often a gut reaction and preemptive strike we use when we feel hurt.

On the contrary, a fight is often the beginning of a relationship, not the end of it. Practice staying, even when you're uncomfortable with it.

2. After you're finished, you reach a new level of intimacy.


You don't really know someone until you see how they are when they're mad at you. People who love you will continue to love you, even when they don't like you. It's a scary yet strangely wonderful feeling to love and be loved by someone you're mad with.

Intimacy is built on the bad days, not on the good. When you know this, you're no longer afraid that a fight will end your relationship. You no longer feel like you have to walk on eggshells.

Because you finally get to...

3. You're no longer walking on egg shells.


If you walk on egg shells, you can make a relationship last for a while. However, you may feel better breaking a few eggs.

Being yourself means you have the right to be, feel, think, and share your way, and I do too. The gift of relationships is that we can't grow alone, we have to be reflected.
For more on this, you can read A Life of Love.

Being yourself is the greatest gift a relationship can give you. Fighting means we don't give up on ourselves or the other person at the first sign of trouble. Oddly enough we only fight with people we're building with. 

James Allen Hanrahan is a dating relationship coach in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love.

This article was originally published at jamesallenhanrahan.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.