3 Things That'll Help You Find Your Soulmate (That You Haven't Thought Of)

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3 Things That'll Help You Find Your Soulmate
Love, Self

A soulmate is gratitude personified. Here's how to find yours.

Whether you are married or single, young or old, straight or gay, white or black or rainbow colored…everyone wants a soulmate.

A soulmate is a person you feel deeply connected to and love to spend time with so much that the hours go rushing by effortlessly when you are together.

It’s a relationship that feels like coming home. It’s comfort. It’s the love and joy and bliss of the most beautiful sunrise actualized in human form.

A soulmate is gratitude personified.

I can remember as a kid never feeling like I completely fit in. I had friends, but never that best friend that I wanted so badly. It got worse as a teenager when I found myself so lonely, some nights I would cry myself to sleep.

In my first marriage, in the year I was married I wrote in my journal, "I just want someone to really want to spend time with me."

It wasn’t until I had kids that a switch flipped. It was like finally, I knew what love was and I sunk every bit of energy and time into being a mom because I loved these little babies so much.

After working in the healing and spirituality field for over 15 years, I know one thing is for certain: everything you want is already in your life. You just might not be able to see it.

I’ve helped people with pain issues that disappear in the blink of an eye. I’ve helped people who have never been able to shed a pound lose weight. I’ve watched money appear out of thin air and relationships that have been on the rocks for years mend overnight.

Some might call this magic and some call it manifestation. I call it reality because now that I’ve been doing this for so long, I can tell you with all certainty that there is nothing mysterious about it.

If magic follows the laws of science, then it qualifies because every one of these extraordinary circumstances simply follows the laws of nature, the laws of the universe, for the outcome to be revealed. It’s just as simple as math. One plus one equals two every single time. The same is true with finding your soulmate.

Everyone has a soulmate. The question isn’t, "Do you have a soulmate?" The question is, "Where are they?"

Here are the 3 ways on how to find your soulmate:

1. Know your own soul.

If you want to find a match for something, you must know what you’re looking for. So often people are looking for a soulmate when they do not understand their soul. What is a soul, anyway? Let’s explore.

A soul is you. You are a soul. You are a soul that is in human form. You know how there are things in life you love and you can’t explain why? Like my brother-in-law who is crazy about wine and my friend who loves to ski. That’s their soul. The soul is the stuff that we just love, and we can’t explain why.

And just like a program on a computer, you are programmed to love what you love for whatever reason — your "soul’s agenda".

Your soul came into human form to experience life. And so it lives in you, it is you, and it is pure love. Now there is a reason that we all aren’t walking around in a state of pure bliss all the time and that is because we also have another part of us that we will call our conditioning.

Our conditioning was what we were taught about life, the world and "the way life is" by the people who raised us and by society as a whole. So we have this soul, and it has an agenda, but we also have our conditioning and it has its own agenda too.

Many times those two agendas are different. Life wouldn’t be very interesting if there weren’t some adventure or game! Just like a great story book that we love to read, our lives are filled with challenges and victories, failures and successes. It’s the richness that makes up our lives, so of course, there must be something opposing the soul’s agenda.

How can you win this game called life then and live your soul’s agenda? Well, you must intimately know your soul in order to navigate your way through the challenges of your conditioning.

And when you do know your soul, you will be able to find its mate because you will understand what it is that you are looking for. And when you know what you’re looking for, you are able to find it.

2. Stop putting your personal conditions around your soul and its mate.

When I talk to people about their soul and finding its mate, they have a lot of conditions that they think they need in place. Clarity is important, as stated above, but soul clarity, not personal clarity, is what we are going for.

Personal clarity gets in the way of you finding your soulmate because your personal clarity is based on your conditioning, not your soul. Personal clarity will have us looking for a 5 foot 10 man with dark brown eyes and a thick head of (well-kept) hair. Your soul has no such requirements.

In fact, your soul doesn’t care about such trivialities. And neither will you when you meet your soulmate. Because the connection that you achieve with this person is beyond any worldly explanation. You connect in a way that you cannot explain and are attracted by invisible forces of desire and pure potentiality.

In order to realize who your soulmate is, you must not put your personal conditions on the table at all. Leave them behind. Lead with curiosity instead and you will find your soul.

3. Take your "self" out of the equation.

Have you ever done a jigsaw puzzle and you just can’t get the pieces to fit even though it looks like it should? This is what life feels like when you are letting your "self" lead. The self is your conditioning and it doesn’t know jack about your soul.

When you lead with your self, the pieces of your life will never fit. However, when you lead with your soul, all the pieces effortlessly seem to fall into place from far corners of your life.

Life becomes magical, and you watch the beauty unfold before your eyes like a reappearing act at a magic show. And it feels just like that because you’re coming home, to you, the real you — your soul.

But it’s not magic, it’s science. Just like a magic trick has its practical step-by-step instructions, so does "soul work". When you let go of the conditions that your "self" is putting on your life, your soul emerges naturally. And you begin to lead with it instead of ignoring it. Or trying to ignore it.

You see, your soul will have its way with you. It is ever so compassionately knocking on your door to get you to listen to its plea for freedom.

Louder and louder, the soul knocks in the form of physical problems, relationship struggles, your stuff breaking down, or life’s re-arrangements. Your soul is calling to you, more often and more loudly, but if you don’t know your soul, you can’t answer its call.

And so you remain unconscious to the beauty that waits for you and wonder, "Why me?"

There is no greater bliss in life than walking the path of life hand in hand with your soulmate. Whether you are married or single, young or old, straight or gay, white or black, or rainbow colored…everyone wants a soulmate. Find your soul and you will find yours.

Ani Anderson is a master coach, speaker, business mentor, and author. Join her at Practical Alchemist to discover your unique Soul’s Agenda!

Watch this TED Talk by Ashley Clift-Jennings about meeting your soulmate.