How You Sabotage Your Own Happiness, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

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How You Sabotage Your Own Happiness
Self

You're only hurting yourself.

Your Myers-Briggs personality test usually says a lot about you — both your good personality traits and the not-so-good. Sometimes, these not-so-good traits get in the way of your journey towards finding happiness.

This does not mean you’re doomed. We all have our flaws that turn people off, that’s just life. But by being aware of those flaws, you can work on them and turn them into strengths instead.

There’s nothing wrong with knowing the bad and the good. Being able to be on top of everything is the best part! Someone believes you talk too much? Well, guess what? You already knew that! Nothing can hurt you if you already have accepted what seem to be your flaws. Embracing your abilities and your limitations are what makes you a better person. Pushing past those limits is step two but knowing your limits is always step one. Your Myers-Briggs personality type helps give you an idea of your limits.

ISTJ: Paying too much attention to detail.

ISTJs are the bright, logical, and wise individuals who are very direct — for them, truth and facts are the most important. With their love of facts, they tend to accumulate a lot of information in their memory. Their focus on concrete facts and data makes them excellent analysts in many different environments.

Although there is nothing wrong with being as thorough as they are, they’re actually missing on the most important things in life and that is the source of their happiness. They are very analytical that they want to know every single detail — every single truth, for that matter — that they end up missing out on being spontaneous from time to time.

The truth won’t always set us free. Sometimes you have to take a risk to be happy.

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INFJ: Putting other people before themselves.

The INFJ personality type is sensitive towards other people’s feelings. They always lend a hand to people who need help because they are compassionate and empathetic. They are also good at reading people and can sense other people’s emotions. They have uncanny insight into people and situations.

INFJs can be difficult to understand for others, and that might cause them to be secretive, making them even more mysterious. They are very careful not to hurt anybody through their words and actions that they dismiss other people’s’ rudeness and irrationality to make them feel better. INFJs always think more about what people may feel that they are ready to delay their happiness for others.

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INTJ: Moving on too quickly.

People with the INTJ personality type are ruthless when it comes to analyzing the usefulness of methods or ideas. While some other types would happily accept the argument that things have always been done in this way, INTJs would question and challenge the existing procedures.

They tend to question everything and find out the right answer for it. INTJ is always up for the challenge and I think that because of this they lose their interest pretty quickly when things are already resolved. This is how they slowly lose their happiness.

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ENFJ: Seeking approval from others.

ENFJ personality finds pleasure in the company of other people, but they also yearn for some time alone. This is due to their extroverted personality and intuitive character. An ENFJ should strive to find a balance between the two — to find enough time to reflect on things in their life, but also have time for other people. When the ENFJ spends too much time alone, they have a tendency to feel depressed. When they spend too much time with others, they tend to feel overwhelmed and unable to process everything that has been on their mind. They need to be able to find time for themselves and time for others.

ENFJ also has a tendency to seek the approval of others too much and this is how they are messing up their own happiness. Other people’s’ opinion matters to them too much than necessary; they have a need to feel that others think highly of them and that people think that they are as much of a good person as they are trying to be. They feel depressed once they found out that people don’t like them enough or don’t approve of them that makes them feel so low about themselves.

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ISTP: Not taking risks. 

The ISTP’s decisions stem from a sense of practical realism and a “do unto others” attitude. Fairness and equality are very important to ISTPs. They are extremely loyal to their friends, but they may need a lot of alone time to recharge. As introverted individuals, ISTPs are relatively private, which makes it even more difficult for other people to tell what is really going on in their minds.

ISTPs have a habit of conserving their energies for the things they consider as important. They are very focused on doing and finishing the things they feel the need to do that they missed out on being adventurous about what else is out there for them. They are mainly too caught up in what’s already in front of them and forget that there are other possibilities out there for them.

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ESFJ: Bottling up their pain.

People with the ESFJ personality type are the stereotypical extroverts. They are social butterflies, and their need to interact with others and make people happy usually ends up making them popular. The ESFJ usually tends to be the cheerleader or sports hero in high school and college. ESFJ is a common personality type and one that is liked by many people.

ESFJs are the usual comedian within a group and these people are always the life of the party. But did you ever wonder what happens and who cheers them up whenever they are sad? That’s what messes them up the most; they are expected to act happy and cheery all the time that they end up bottling their pain inside. People are used to them being outgoing that they don’t give them a chance to be human and feel something.

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INFP: Getting caught up in their imagination.

INFPs are idealists who care deeply about the world they live in. They feel like they exist to make the world a better place for everyone. They are existentialists, always seeking meaning and purpose in their lives. They are lost in their imagination and daydreams, always drowned in the depth of their thoughts, fantasies, and ideas.

INFPs always think that whenever something happens it is like a metaphor that somehow has a deeper meaning that is connected to life. They always seek a purpose in someone’s life and when that person is finally done needing them they will feel like they are no longer needed or somewhat worthless. They are always depending on being useful to other people that they end up messing up their own happiness. They are too caught up in their own imagination that they forget the life that’s ahead of them.

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ESFP: Caring too much about what other people think.

ESFPs are “people people” with strong interpersonal skills. They are lively and fun and enjoy being the center of attention. They are warm, generous, and friendly, sympathetic and concerned for other people’s well-being. They are the easy-going type and happy-go-lucky kind of people.

ESFPs depend on the opinion of other people and when the spotlight is no longer shining on them it makes them feel like being rejected and disliked by others that can cause depression. They are always on the run but they cannot go on without the approval of other people.

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ENFP: Giving up too easily.

The ENFP personality likes to be around other people and has a strong intuitive nature when it comes to themselves and others. ENFPs are usually happy people unless they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. An unhappy ENFP can misuse their gift of gab and become quite manipulative because their charm makes it easy for them to get what they want.

ENFPs are very competitive but if you don’t give them enough time they will give it up and slowly pass the responsibility to others. They lose hope quickly even at the slightest hopelessness they’d raise the red flag and give it up. They’d give it all up for they are not used to disappointments, even the thing that makes them happy the most.

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ESTP: Expecting too much.

ESTPs work hard and play hard, and they expect everyone else to adopt this same mentality while around them. Networking and making new friends comes naturally to ESTPs because of their outgoing nature and drive to be successful. These qualities make it easy for ESTPs to get along with just about anyone, as long as they are not deemed to be lazy, flaky, liars, or complainers.

ESTPs want everyone to be like them. They want their group of friends to have the same level of sense of humor and hyperness in their body. They want their surroundings to be like them and that’s what sets people apart from them. They want a happy and cheery environment which they will not get all the time.

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ESTJ: Caring too much about the rules.

People with the ESTJ personality type are organized, honest, dedicated, dignified, traditional, and are great believers in doing what they believe is right and socially acceptable. Though the paths towards “good” and “right” are difficult, they are glad to take their place as the leaders of the pack. They are the epitome of good citizenry.

ESTJs always want everything to go as planned. They also think about what other people will consider as the right thing to do and lose the opportunity to actually have fun with the person they are with. They are always concerned whether what they are doing is acceptable or law abiding. They have no sense of craziness in their body and imagine being with that kind of person in a weekend getaway.

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ENTJ: Being controlling.

ENTJs are natural born leaders and like being in charge. They live in a world of possibilities and they often see challenges and obstacles as great opportunities to push themselves. The ENTJ personality seems to have a natural gift for leadership, making decisions, and considering options and ideas quickly yet carefully. They are “take charge” people who do not like to sit still.

ENTJs are used to having the upper hand. They are used to being the head of the pyramid, the brain of the group and the one who holds the remote control. They always have the last say on everything and sometimes that is what messes them up the most — they’d rather lose the people they love than lose control. They’d rather have the situation under control than be extremely happy and out of hand.

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INTP: Overthinking.

INTPs are well known in the community and in day to day life for their brilliant theories and unrelenting logic, which makes sense since they are arguably the most logical minded of all the personality types. They love patterns, have a keen eye for picking up on discrepancies, and a good ability to read people, making it a bad idea to lie to or to try to deceive an INTP.

INTPs mess themselves up by overthinking. They always think and then think again until they make themselves feel bad. One more thing is that they are very good at spotting a liar which can be helpful at times but this may end up ruining situations and relationships especially when INTP questions almost everything.

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ISFJ: Going with the flow instead of speaking up.

ISFJs are warm and kind-hearted. They value harmony and cooperation and are likely to be very sensitive to other people’s feelings. People value the ISFJ personality type for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others.

ISFJs do not know how to express how they truly feel; they are very much aware of their own and other people’s’ feelings but they do not know how to express them unless they find the outlets to expose their emotions. This is how they slowly let their happiness slip away, they are very dependent on how the situations flow and not have the courage to make things happen for themselves.

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ENTP: Pushing people away.

The ENTP personality is a visionary who is capable of generating ideas so large and eccentric that they may be solutions that the entire world needs. ENTPs are humorous and quick-witted, but they can also sound arrogant and condescending.

ENTPs can easily detach from other people and have no problem dismissing them from their lives. They just have the habit of detaching and ignoring them once ENTPs feel like they are being distant and cold. They can be insensitive sometimes which can push people away and they can easily detect B.S. from non-B.S. which can affect their happiness in a good and bad way.

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ISFP: Being too shy.

ISFPs tend to be quiet and reserved, and difficult to get to know well. They hold back their ideas and opinions except from those who they are closest to. They’re original and independent and need to have personal space.

ISFPs have a habit of keeping everything inside them and would not tell anyone else unless they are their closest friend or family. They hold themselves back even the talent that they enjoy doing for the fear of being disliked by everyone else.

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Krizzia Paolyn is a wanderer looking for a place to call home. Follow her journey on Instagram and Facebook.

This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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