YES, Feminism Is Damaging To Marriage — But That's Not A Bad Thing

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feminism damaging to marriage

Why feminism contributes to lower marriage rates and why that's a good thing for us.

The other day I was listening to men tell a girl that it was “feminism’s fault” that marriage was down the tubes, and that women won’t be able to “use men anymore” now that they have the right to work. The girl, who was understandably fed up with their boorish banter, just shook her head and walked away from them. 

There’s no way to convince people who have already made up their minds about you — at least, not in a bar and not with the type of men who would say something like that in public.

But as misogynistic as the men were, I agreed with them on one point: I agree that feminism is damaging to marriage... and that that’s not a bad thing. However, they were wrong about this critical point: Women aren't the losers. If you look at the raw facts, the ones who are missing out the most are men.

How Feminism Damaged The Institution As Marriage

Let’s call it what it is: marriage is a form of ownership. Back in the day, marriage meant that men had a right over women, much like they would have rights over a house, a car, or a cow. There is a reason why women took the last names of the men they married, and it’s because it was a sign they belonged to him.

Women also had no rights and typically didn’t choose who they married. Since women weren’t “in demand” in many parts of the world, they also had to scramble to find a man. If they didn’t marry, then they were ostracized and most likely ended up dying a pauper. Love had nothing to do with it at all.

In this old school setup, guys had it all. They had women they chose to marry, and women couldn’t leave even if abuse was a regular occurrence. Many men also got action on the side but kept up appearances so as “not to upset the family.”

Of course, men would marry in this situation — they had nothing to lose, everything to gain, and held all the cards. They didn’t have to have a good personality, nor did they had to be attractive. All they had to do was just be men.

But feminism changed all that when women began to demand equal rights. Now that women can work, own credit cards, and have their own property without men, they’re not stuck dating just anyone. Moreover, they aren’t as stuck when it comes to staying in sh*tty marriages just so they don’t starve.

What ended up happening is that women got pickier with the guys they dated and women began to leave relationships (gasp!) that weren’t good for them. To make matters worse, some women actually began to realize they were putting way more into a relationship than they were getting, so they’d leave, even if the relationships was “happy” for men.

The end result, as the numbers show, is a spike in divorces, fewer people running to the altar, and, of course, a lot of very, very bitter men who think women are out to get their wallets. But as bad as it sounds, it’s actually a good thing.

Without feminism, the women who didn’t divorce would probably get beaten and live miserable lives with men who have no gumption to make things better. Without women getting equal rights, men could skate along in mediocrity. Without women being able to leave, men wouldn’t appreciate everything women offer them.

Neither men nor women can rely on social constructs to get the mate they want, and that makes coupling up that much harder for both genders. It’s harder, but there are more rewards out there (in the form of a better partner) if you so choose that route.

As it stands, marriage is dying out and it’s becoming a status symbol among people who can both afford and attract a mate. If you ask me, it’s better to see that happen than to see it be a means of survival for half of our species.