Why You Haven't Met Anyone You Want A Serious Relationship With... Yet

Love, Self

It's simple, really.

Are you frustrated that you’re still single when you’ve been in the dating market for what seems like FOREVER? Time after time, you’ve met someone, had that first date, and things just go nowhere. 

Even if you have multiple dates with someone, it seems that after a short time you find you’re not as compatible as you’d thought and there's no serious relationship in your future.

Womp womp.

After carefully vetting every single one of your candidates against your list of must-haves and wants, making certain they are your "type," it can be frustrating when things don't end up working out... again. 

So why are you still single?

Unfortunately, for many people who have this kind of experience, the real issue is on the inside. It's not that your picker is broken, it's more that — in an effort to protect yourself — the barriers, tests and standards you have set up are too tough for people in the real world achieve.

If this is you, you probably have a never-ending list of criteria that NO one can match up to — too tall, too short, wrong job, wrong music, wrong religion, too young, too old, too boring... the list goes on. This could be why you're still single and never have the serious relationship you crave. After all, who could live up to those kinds of standards? 

Lesson: THROW AWAY your list!

Or at least shave it down to a reasonable five "must-haves" and change the focus to qualities that matter — character qualities, not physical attributes. Better yet, take a chance and experience something completely new. 

Try dating your opposite.

Stop looking for someone who mirrors you so closely. Sure, it’s comfortable to be with someone that is so like ourselves, but it can also get boring fast. Think how exciting it could be to meet someone who introduces you to new foods, new music, new friends and even new ideas.

The Odyssey

Yeah, they may turn out to be a dud, but you’ll learn from the experience and apply that knowledge going forward. The old saying, ‘no risk — no reward’ might certainly apply. The worst that could happen is that you’ll still be single ... nothing lost, nothing gained. BUT, you may just find someone who adds qualities to your life that you never realized were missing.

YourTango Experts Senior VP Melanie Gorman poses the question of dating outside your type with our panel of experts, including psychologist Stan Tatkin, dating coach Sue Mandel, and counselor/dating coach Samantha Burns). Take a moment, watch the video, and learn something about yourself, the way you date, and the REAL reasons you are still single. 

The solution to your "problem" may be easier than you think.

If you are intrigued or inspired to learn more, visit their websites and get in touch with Stan, Sue or Samantha directly. I’ll bet you learn something valuable!