15 Important Life Milestones To Accomplish (BESIDES Getting Married)

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Important Milestones To Accomplish Besides Getting Married

Because getting hitched is overrated.

These days, it seems like almost everyone is focused on getting married. It's the big milestone that we talk about even as young girls. Life is just too short to focus on a single party in your honor. Here are some awesome milestones everyone should try to accomplish besides getting married.

1. That magical first moment you get so wasted that you argue with an inanimate object.


Ever since that beautiful day, I have had many arguments with that toaster.

2. That unique milestone when a creep talks about you on Craigslist Missed Connections.

Creepy. Romantic. Creepmantic?

3. The first time you walk home with your high heels in your hands, crying because of club drama.


In New Jersey culture, this is an ancient rite of passage that signals that you have actually gone down the Shore and gotten piss drunk.

4. As a girl, the first time you pee standing up without peeing all over your clothing and shoes.

It is possible! Dare to dream, and don't give up until you actually achieve everything you can achieve... like, you know, peeing standing up.

5. Getting your first cat as a single crazy cat lady.


One of many, my friend. One of many.

6. Having a date so terrible that you become legend status among friends.

I think everyone's had at least one like that. It's a milestone.

7. The first time you get a creepy message on a dating site.


This is basically a rite of passage into the 21st century, really. It's also your first step on the magical path to becoming a bitter shell of a woman who hates Disney movies.

8. Getting pissed when people won't stop asking when you're having a kid.

Welcome to life after 25, folks.

9. That incredible moment where you try your first Pinterest project and it turns into a dumpster fire.


Nailed it.

10. That first time that you really do act like a crazy ex.

Hey, you're going to get called "crazy" by men no matter what you do. You might as well enjoy it and actually live up to your reputation.

11. Your first time sipping a pumpkin spice latte while wearing yoga pants.


Indulge yourself in the basicness of it all!

12. Going to your first bachelorette party.

Bonus milestone: your first lap dance.

13. Your first cougar moment.


Younger guys know you still got it going on.

14. That first time you stop following someone on Facebook because all they ever do is post baby photos or ask you to join their MLM scheme.

This is a milestone that usually hits around your mid-20s, and signifies that your tolerance for annoying posts has disappeared.

15. That one first time when you thank your lucky stars that you didn't marry that one ex you used to be heads over heels for.


Bullet. Dodged.