How To Stop Having The Same Fight With Your Husband (Over & Over Again)


The longer you spend time with a person, the more you’re going to find things about them that don’t entirely mesh with you. Or you’ll have disagreements over petty things because you’re irritated that day.

Perhaps they’ll say something that you take completely out of context, or maybe it’s the same tired argument that you’ve been having on repeat over… and over… and over… And it seems like you can never stop.

In fact, the more you try to communicate, the more you can't seem to stop arguing. And whether these arguments are over something legitimate — or simply spiraling out of control just because one of both of you are tired or stressed out from your day — doesn’t matter.

The problem itself isn’t the only reason that you’re arguing. It has a lot more to do with something going on between the two of you.

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Is it possible that you and your lover will never be able to stop clashing heads or see eye to eye? How can you effectively communicate with your partner without going to bed angry?

Renowned relationship expert John Gray is joined by YourTango experts Bonnie Eaker Weil, Christine Baumgartner, Tammy Nelson, and Susan Campbell in the YourTango video above to discuss the possible reasons why you and your husband are constantly fighting.

Being at odds with one another on a consistent basis can add its own stress to your situation, which, in turn, makes things worse and makes your arguments last even longer. It’s a cycle of stress that continually goes back and forth. You constantly fight with your spouse, which keeps you angry with one other.

The anger forces you to feel resentment, which means that you’re not trying to heal the gap between you — and so the gap widens, filling with more resentment because your partner isn’t reaching out to you.

Often times, these feelings can cause you pick a fight and argue about something, simply because you’re so angry about the last argument you had and the feelings of emotional neglect you're experiencing. Sound familiar?

It's likely you'll get even more frustrated when it’s a topic that never gets settled between you, which means that most of your resentment is going to be focused on one particular issue that’s continually being lobbed back and forth between you two like a volleyball, until one — or both — of you explode.

If you feel stuck in this vicious cycle, know that you're not alone. However, your relationship deserves better, and you shouldn’t let yourselves get caught in the vicious cycle of having the same fight over and over again.

So what’s really at the heart of the problem, and how can you stop this from continuing?

Join our experts in the YourTango video above for advice on how to avoid these eruptions of anger, stop the arguing, and get to work on healing the rift that’s been forged between you and the person that you love.

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If you're having relationship problems and need to reach out to someone, contact our experts! They'd love to talk, and they're here to help you.