Over The Top Profile Pics.


picture of a woman in a bikini and heels.

picture of a woman in a bath towel.

picture of cleavage.

picture of cleavage and a tattoo.

picture of a man holding a newborn baby.

picture of man with arm around elderly mother.

picture of man kissing a litter of puppies.


picking up on a theme. I’ve noticed a lot of women who seem to think that the
way to a man’s heart is through his groin, so to speak. Conversely, men
sometimes try way too hard to prove they’re nice guys.


Women -
if you’re looking for long term, cleavage is the wrong message. It says you’re
looking for sex. I mean, seriously, you’re showing cleavage. Do you really
think a man’s first thought will be “Yippee, a woman with heart”?  Come on.  Go onto google images and do a search for “heart” then do a
search for “cleavage” – same region but vastly very different body parts.


in your bath towel don’t suggest long term either. Personally, when I see those
pictures, I can’t help but wonder if the woman is dirty and about to shower, or
if she’s freshly-scrubbed. But that’s how my brain works. A man’s brain is
different. However, he doesn’t think “there’s a woman with heart under that
towel” any more than I do. He thinks “there’s woman who’s naked under that


I’m not
trying to be mean. I’m just trying to suggest that you give yourself a shake.


As for
men, some of those profile pictures look like the photo ops for politicians.
Let’s be frank, politicians aren’t exactly known to be genuine or nice guys. A
picture of you holding a new born baby is trying way too hard. Pictures with
your pets are fine but litters of puppies and kittens?  It’s a little much.


When a
woman sees a man trying too hard to show he’s nice, she ends up thinking one of
two things 1) he can’t get a woman which is why he’s trying so hard 2) he’s a
phony and probably a player who’s trying all the tricks.   Neither message is attractive.


be yourself. Take a warm welcoming picture without all of the “over the top”
additions. Just be natural and have balance. Don’t post anything that can be
construed as contrived.


I know
there’s a lot of competition out there and I’m the first to say compete with
every tool you have. However, if you’re looking for long-term that means your
primary objective (as we say in advertising) is to find love.


seriously consider what love means: friendship, dedication, kindness, substance
and other qualities that win and keep hearts. Also consider your ideal target
(another ad term which, in essence, means your ideal match). Then try to find
the appropriate bridge that will bring you and that person together to meet
your objective.


forget all that and just hire me to help with your online dating profile.


Sign Up for the YourTango Newsletter

Let's make this a regular thing!

For more
tips and advice, listen to the podcasts and read the blogs and samples at http://trysweettalk.com