Forget ED. There's Big Money In Priapism

upset man
Buzz, Love

A never-ending erection leads to a lawsuit. Booze leads to a terrible tattoo.

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, a man from my home state of Georgia turned a serious go of priapism into a huge windfall.

Per the story, a truck driver from DeKalb County (the "L" is silent), sought treatment for his erectile dysfunction from Boston Men's Health Center (a national and international series of male-focused clinics headquartered in Florida). They gave him a syringe of a proprietary compound and told him to inject his junk with the formula thrice a week. He did so, suffered prolonged erections, and is now scarred and permanently damaged. An ED Spray May Be On The Way

Evidently, a couple of other clients of Boston Men's Health have suffered similar adverse reactions but the company stands by their product. Not to poo-poo what could be a great product but there is no way I would let someone stick a needle in my dingle unless it was to save me from something far worse than ED. The whole thing sounds like a Marvel comic… "you wouldn't like him when he's angry. Or would you?"

I'm guessing that boner meds of all ilk have a ton of insurance. Men take their penis health relatively seriously and are willing to get quite litigious (after the requisite embarrassment settles) when something goes on the south end of Treasure Trail. The Georgia man won $750,000 in compensation and $8.5 million in damages. But he likely would prefer to have normal erections.

Speaking of a healthy penis, according to our buddies at Asylum, a Swede got blackout drunk and had a phallus tattooed on his leg. The cartoony wang is six inches in length and hopefully doesn't dwarf boozy's actual genitals. Ideally, he'll find another tat-master to turn it into something else (like a dolphin or eel), if the tatoo artist can stop laughing long enough.

The moral of the story? Take decisions regarding genitals very seriously. Sleep on them (the decisions) if need be.