Does Love at First Sight Exist?


Is it possible to fall in love after just one look?

This is an age-old topic, and there is no shortage of opinions on the subject. After asking a number of women and men, I've found one overriding truth.

Most people seem to think that the concept is true, but when I probed, I found out that there were other steps necessary in connecting beyond a random look and there were plenty of instances where people thought it was love at first sight, but things never developed.

For guys, there's plenty of lust at first sight. We all know that dudes are visual. If a woman who looks like Hannah Davis happens to strut by, most red-blooded All-American males would feel a rush come over them. I’m not saying this would constitute an official, B-O-I-N-G, but a lot of sexual thoughts may emerge quite rapidly. Over time most guys have their type⎯blondes, brunettes, Asian women, long hair, bubble butts, and more recently, women who are super fit. It doesn’t matter.

The point is that men are visual and immediately respond to the purely physical assets of a woman.

I’m not condoning this, but it’s not going to change that much. The best we can hope for is that the female object of desire has an energy that the man connects with. That goes a long way in turning the ship from purely physical attraction to something potentially more long lasting.

So what happens? A guy sees his “type” and he is attracted. Then he follows his you-know-what and makes contact with the woman with whom he thinks he’s found “love at first sight”. Then, over time he realizes that she doesn't fit most of his other criteria. Maybe she hates sports or meat or New Jersey or his music, but it soon becomes apparent that this isn't a good match. Most guys will hang in there until the woman cuts them out, not bothering with any circumspection that could help them become more self-aware and sensitive to themselves, and the fact that women are more than pretty creatures.

On the flip side, I have been told by a number of guys that as soon as they met their partner, they knew that she was “The One”.

That's great. But that was after they had an actual conversation, date, or something more than a lecherous look at their girl. The first time I saw my wife, I was waiting on the church steps at the corner of 79th Street and Broadway. I looked across the street diagonally and she was the first person that I laid eyes on. When we actually met at the adjacent corner, she greeted me with a smile and I gave her a hug. I had never hugged upon meeting a first date, so maybe I experienced a form of “love at first sight”.

For women, there is usually more than a guy’s looks.

Consider this. Women are into men’s looks more than ever, but at the same time, women usually dig a bit deeper. Sure, women have their types. Tall, sparkling eyes, washboard abs (good luck with that), a cute butt, are all common physical characteristics that women like to see in a guy. There are also the intangibles like long fingers, a certain height or type of hair, or a Swiss bank account, but at least that’s more substantial than long legs, big boobs, and a perky ass, which is about as exotic as a lot of men get. Women think through and discuss a lot of guy-related issues ad nauseam with their girlfriends, and thank goodness they do.

Often, by the time a dude says hello, he’s already been sliced, diced and in many cases, flung into the scrap heap before he’s had a fair chance to connect with her.

On the other hand, women have intuition, and many of them are sensitive to a guy’s energy. So if he’s creepy, they know. And if he has a nice smile, they might overlook his khaki pants, cargo shorts, or tribal tattoo⎯ at least for one date.

Lots of women I know insist that when they met their guy, they knew that he was “The One”. But, they all stated that they knew when they met, not when they looked at him.

There is no set answer to this question about “love at first sight”. But wouldn’t it be great if we all looked a little closer and a bit deeper at our potential partners before decreeing that they were either toast or “The One”?

What do you think—do you believe in love at the first sight?