How To Find Real Love (When You're Wondering If You Ever Will)

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What Is True Love And Will I Ever Find Love?
Love, Self

The answer may be more simple than you think.

"Will I ever find love? Why is it taking so long?!"

This is a common struggle for many people looking for the love of their life. But what is true love? Will you ever find it?

Stop searching for the answer outside of you and, instead, look within yourself. The path to long-lasting love — real love — is in finding a new way to do love.

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The first step is to realize that you are the common denominator in all of your relationships. If you want your results in love to change, that change is ultimately within yourself.

Have you ever wondered why you are more attracted to someone who is unavailable to you? Or why that person who is so into you, just doesn't do it for you at all?

The key to understanding the conundrum on how to find true love is hidden in your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious seeks out a relationship that feels similar to what you experienced in your childhood. If you’ve never experienced the kind of love you long for, then utilizing the conventional tools of simply dating to meet the "right person" will fall flat.

Leaving things to chance and attraction will always lead you to that familiar person who continually breaks your heart.

For example, if love from a parent was unavailable and you had to attempt to continually earn love in your family, then the intense feeling that comes over you with an unavailable person is simply the recognition from your subconscious telling you, "This is familiar! This is familiar!"

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Additionally, your subconscious does not make the distinction between familiar and what's good for you or familiar and what's bad for you.

The only goal of the subconscious mind is to keep things the same because that is what has kept you alive all these years (and has ensured the survival of the human species).

In order to have a thriving relationship that's not based on survival), you have to break your subconscious patterns and release yourself from the limiting beliefs that are driving your behavior.

Don’t get trapped by the mistaken belief that love is only available to a lucky few and not for you — whether it's due to fate, your own broken-ness, or the ridiculous notion that it’s just not meant to be.

Learn the discrepancy on how you desire to be loved and how love was expressed to you in your childhood and reconcile them as you journey to find true love.

Your subconscious patterns include your limiting beliefs, your mental and emotional patterns, and your behavioral strategies around giving and receiving love. It is, in essence, the setting on your "GPS For Love".

"But, when will I find love?" you might ask.

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Instead of bemoaning the fact that the love of your life hasn't shown up yet, start digging into your story around love. See if you can discover the pattern in your past relationships and how they relate to your experience of love as a child.

You can’t change the plot points of your past — what happened to you, is what happened to you. However, you can change the meaning that you’ve assigned to those events.

Begin by becoming aware of your "story of love". Do you see acts of love around you? Do you love certain people? Or are you focused on reinforcing limiting beliefs about love and only see the lack of love that you’ve experienced?

Examine your relationship history and take note of your common experiences and recurring emotional patterns.

While your past relationships may seem, on the surface, to be unique and different, there is a common thread running through our intimate relationships. This thread can lead you to identify the deep-seated limiting beliefs about your lovability.

Ultimately the goal is to rewrite the story of love in your subconscious mind. When your subconscious is in alignment with your true heart’s desire, the lasting love you long for will come quickly and appear to be effortless.

RELATED: How To Experience True Love Every Day — Even If You're Single

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Orna and Matthew Walters are Soulmate Coaches for spiritual, successful, resilient women who have everything, except the man of their dreams. Download their free special report 7 Major Mistakes Single Women Make That Block Them From Finding True Love … And How To Avoid Them.