4 Steps To Get Back on Your Feet After a Rejection

Love, Heartbreak

Rejection can impede growth and can happen to everyone, whether you are single or in a relationship.

Sometimes after a breakup or a rejection it can take an awfully long time to get back into either the dating game or just into feeling secure with yourself as a whole again.

Rejection can happen in any relationship, it can happen in long-term relationships and it can happen in dating, it can happen through friends and family, it can happen in the workplace. Rejection is somewhat a part of life, however, quite often, rejection is internalized somewhere so deep we don't even realize the effect it has taken on us.

The natural human desire is to avoid rejection via various forms of self-protection. Self-protection can be seen in many ways, and most people don't even realize they are doing it. Sometimes apathy is a form of self-protection. Quite often these people may appear cold, callous, uninterested in relationships, aloof, disinterested. Another self-protection may be in the form of being a player, sleeping around, with many women (or men) with no intention of following through and often with the intention of actually doing some harm, doing some form of rejecting in return, which may often make some people feel better. Other forms of self-protection include isolation, avoidance, staying away from social situations, avoiding dating and any signs of love, intimacy and relationships altogether. Self-protection occurs because people no longer wish to be harmed, and feel they must somehow take a more active stance in their own protection. However, in the long run, this often leaves people angry, bitter and disillusioned. There is a certain amount of dishonesty with the self that actually goes on when we try our darnd-est to avoid getting hurt.  So perhaps we avoid getting hurt, but at what cost? At the cost of being vulnerable, at the cost of surrendering, at the cost of finding a true connection with someone, and at the cost of true growth.

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