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How To Help Each Other Grow Spiritually In Your Relationship (Even If Your Religious Beliefs Are Different)

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Your spirituality and your partner's are vital to your growth as a couple.

If you do a search on the positive impacts of spirituality, a long list of articles — scholarly and otherwise — will come up. The benefits are numerous. This time of year has many special days for many faith traditions and spiritual reminders (like Thanksgiving), regardless of your religious choices.

The family I grew up in offered me stark contrasts in both faith and spirituality beliefs.

I had a mother who was filled with faith and had frequent spiritual practices that truly sustained her. My father had been deeply hurt by the faith community that he used to be part of and divorced himself from all things religious or spiritual.


RELATED: 10 Essential Steps To Forming A Deep Spiritual Relationship


But, what people don't often realize is that it is entirely possible for spiritual interfaith couples with different religions and beliefs to still support each other's choices around the matter of spirituality and religious affiliations. 

My family did not manage to figure this out and there was a lot of tension, conflict, and pain around different types of spirituality and the role that it plays. 

There is a wise old saying that goes, "Do not be unequally yoked." This is often interpreted to mean that your spirituality should be the same as your partner's so that you can pull through life together.

I actually own an old yoke. It is a single yoke. No problem. A double yoke is attached to two animals so that they pull together. Their strength gets unified. Imagine a double yoke with a small goat on one side and a workhorse in the other. It’s not going to work.

Too often, in relationships, one person may feel like their partner is another kind of creature... and that's okay. What truly matters is the shared intention of pulling together and sharing the load that life brings as a couple.


RELATED: How To Discuss Your Spiritual Beliefs Without Freaking Him Out


You may be with a partner whose spirituality differs from yours but this doesn't mean you can't pull the load together. The key to a healthy relationship is to encourage the health of each other’s spiritual life and practices. They need to be identical.

Research shows us that healthy spirituality does a lot to help us be resilient and strong. It is in your best interest to help your partner be strong. A committed relationship means that you share a yoke and will be pulling together.

So, think about it. 

What can you do to improve your spirituality right now? How is your partner’s spirituality different from yours? In what ways can you encourage your partner’s spirituality even if it looks quite different from yours? 

Now, dig a little deeper.

How can you encourage the spiritual well-being of your partner without needing it to look just like yours? What will supporting your children (should you have some) look like?

May you find peace and strength in your faith and spiritual practices!


RELATED: Marry The Man, Not His Religion. Trust Me.


Marilyn Orr, MA, CEC, PCC is a relationship coach with Luv Life Coaching, passionate about equipping couples with the tools for real and lasting intimacy. Is Luv Life Coaching an appropriate next step for you? Take their online questionnaire to find out.

This article was originally published at Luv Life Coaching blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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