People Who Detach From Mediocre Relationships As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
As people age, they refuse to settle for less than they deserve.
Bits And Splits | Shutterstock Dating gets more complicated with age, not because people are pickier, but because they’ve been through enough to know what they won’t tolerate. People who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually aren't being cold or too independent, they're just done wasting time on connections that don't feel right. Instead of chasing fairytales or tolerating low-effort love, they'd rather be alone than settle for something half-hearted.
Unlike everyone else, people who easily detach aren't looking for a quick date or an 'okay' person to settle down with. Blame it on their fierce independence or their high standards, but there are plenty of reasons why some people struggle to date as they get older. And while this might seem negative at first, people who detach from mediocre relationships are truly the ones thriving in life, as they never settle for less, regardless of what others say. These reasons explain exactly why some people detach so easily, and why it's probably the smartest move they've ever made.
People who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually have these 11 reasons:
1. They actually like being alone
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People who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually value their alone time. Despite what others may say, being alone isn't always a bad thing. From being able to better reflect to relaxing after a stressful day of work, everyone needs one-on-one time.
That being said, people who hate mediocre relationships are always quick to detach because they understand that it's much better to be in one's own company than it is to be in bad company. While this might sound dramatic, it does add up, as according to the University of Georgia, negative interactions are associated with a rise in blood pressure for women, overall lower self-esteem, and worsening mental health.
So, while some people might call them dramatic, sometimes, spending time alone is truly better than being around those who are mediocre.
2. They've grown up emotionally
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In the past, people might've entertained mediocre relationships because they didn't know better. Full of immaturity and being a bit naive, these individuals might've looked past bad flaws, in favor of fairytales. However, times have changed since their teenage years and early twenties.
So, while some people continue to entertain nonsense, people who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually grow emotionally. According to a study in 2013, age 25 is when people's brain fully develops. While this might sound insignificant, this is important as people whose brains are not fully developed are increasingly more likely to make reckless decisions.
That being said, this isn't always the case for some people. Despite their brains developing, some people continue engaging in the same old toxic cycles. However, for those who've learned from their mistakes, they likely detach from mediocre relationships, keeping their peace intact.
3. They stop romanticizing potential
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There are two types of people in this world: those who date for potential and those who see reality as it is. And while it might sound cruel, there's no denying that people who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually stop romanticizing potential.
Sure, leaving people on read or going ghost mode might sound cruel. However, once someone sees a person for who they are, it's best to believe them. As most people know, actions speak louder than words, and according to clinical psychologist Noam Shpancer, Ph.D., actions speak more truthfully than words.
This means that, as cruel as it may be, people who detach from mediocre relationships do so gleefully as they're better able to see how someone's actions align with how they truly feel, resulting in them distancing themselves so they don't waste time.
4. They're done fixing people
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When someone truly loves a person, there's no length they aren't willing to go. From investing in that person to being there for them during the darkest moments, some people would risk it all to see their loved one smile. However, people who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older are done fixing people.
It's unfortunate, but most people won't change unless they truly want to. As much as people might beg their partner to do better or to care more, people aren't going to suddenly care just because it's the right thing to do. According to author and consulting coach James M. Kerr, "People have the capacity to change. However, they must choose to do the work needed to make change happen."
Thankfully, people who detach from mediocre relationships know this, which is why they're done fixing people. Call them cold, but they're too mature and smart to waste their energy on someone who most likely will never change.
5. Their standards got higher, not lower
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Nowadays, it seems like everyone must lower their standards; otherwise, they might get blasted on social media or on their Tinder date for being 'too difficult.' However, people who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older don't care what people have to say and actively choose to raise their standards.
Regardless of what others may think, in the end, who they choose to be in a relationship with will impact them, for better or worse. According to a study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, problematic relationships are increasingly more likely to lead to depression than supportive ones.
With that being said, having high standards is far from easy. It's unfortunate, but most people who don't meet their standards will always try to tear them down, causing them to doubt themselves or feel more alone than they actually are.
6. They're not afraid to be single
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In the past, it might've felt like a sentence to be single as everyone's friends and family members gleefully got married and had kids. However, times have changed, and what once used to be considered a sentence is now regarded as ideal, as people who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually don't fear being single anymore.
Believe it or not, there are worse things than being alone. While it might sound bizarre to some, being in the wrong relationship is much worse than spending nights alone watching TV. As licensed therapist Stephanie A. Sarkis, Ph.D., explained, "Constant criticism and belittlement can erode self-confidence, making you feel worthless, anxious, and depressed."
Still, there are some people out there who can't help but jump from relationship to relationship, seeking something that doesn't exist. Thankfully, people who detach from mediocre relationships aren't like this, which is why they don't fear being single anymore.
7. They fiercely protect their peace
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People who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually want to protect their peace. It's unfortunate, but too many people nowadays are obsessed with drama. From gossiping constantly to involving themselves in every single affair, always being in arguments can cause people's mental health to spiral out of control.
According to a study in 2017, chronic stress can lead to psychiatric conditions. With that being said, people who detach from mediocre relationships already know this, which is why they're so obsessed with protecting their peace. So, regardless of whether they upset lovers, friends, and family members, one thing certain: people who detach will cut anyone off within seconds.
8. They expect clarity
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Let's face it: far too many people play games. From leading someone on to not being clear in their communication, there's nothing more frustrating than someone who lacks clarity. According to a study published in blank, uncertainty is frustrating because it can lead to misunderstandings, which, according to a study published in 2022, predicted higher stress, lower life satisfaction and motivation, as well as unhealthy cortisol slopes.
With that being said, people who detach don't have time for unclear people, which is why people who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually do so because they expect clarity. As much as it might annoy those around them, there's no denying that clear communication always wins.
From preventing misunderstandings to feeling more comfortable being vulnerable, honesty is always the best policy.
9. They don't overlook red flags anymore
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As people get older and wiser, they slowly begin to recognize toxic patterns. This is why people who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually stop excusing red flags. While it might be tempting to say, "Oh, I'm just overreacting," there's no denying that trusting one's instincts is important.
Regardless of what others may think, instincts are there to keep you out of danger. So, if someone possesses any red flag behavior, always keep track of it. Even if they think they're overreacting, with the help of a therapist, they can determine whether that relationship is worth their time or not.
10. They know love alone isn't enough
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In the past, people grew up watching Disney and, at one point, believed that all that mattered in life was love. As a result, they grew up desperately seeking it, even at the cost of their own mental well-being. However, times have changed since childhood, which is why people who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually know love isn't enough.
Call them every name under the sun, it still doesn't change the fact that things like financial security, emotional intelligence, and actions are all things people should consider before jumping headfirst into a relationship. Even if it's hard at first, slowly getting into the pattern of understanding that love isn't enough can protect almost anyone, even if it is unconscious.
11. They take silence as a message
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Finally, people who detach from mediocre relationships as they get older usually see silence as a message. Let's face it: it's all too easy to obsess over someone texting back or whether this person truly cares or not. However, as time continues, it's all too easy to feel exhausted.
As most can imagine, people want to be with others who don't leave them second-guessing. Whether it's their intention or not, being unclear or silent can lead people to believe that they're the ones at fault, even if that's far from the case. Even so, it takes a person who is confident and mature to fully understand why communication is so important. Which is why people who detach don't waste their time on those who don't understand this from the get-go.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
