5 Quiet Behaviors Of Women Whose Husbands Are Utterly Obsessed With Them
Simple tactics that speak straight to the heart of what makes men stay obsessed.
Valentina Kondrasyuk | Unsplash I recently did a survey of my male friends and my male clients, asking them about the daily habits of women whose husbands are utterly obsessed and madly in love with them.
I might be a life coach but that doesn’t mean I always know what is going on in the mind of a man so I thought I would reach out to the experts. The answers that I got were interesting ones, ones that I know I dropped the ball on when I was married.
Here are five quiet behaviors of women whose husbands are utterly obsessed with them:
1. Make him feel seen
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I know that when I was married, my husband was pretty much invisible. When we were first together, before kids, he was the center of my attention.
When he walked into the room, I noticed him. I would seek out his company. I would appreciate the things that he did for me. I would praise him for the things that were going well in his life.
I made him feel loved every day. And I assume that is why he asked me to marry him. Unfortunately, the day my daughter was born, everything changed.
I remember coming home from dropping my mother off at the airport, wondering how I was going to handle having a baby without her. My husband asked me what was for dinner, and I said lasagna. My mother had made a bunch of it for us so that I wouldn’t have to cook.
His reaction? “Again? Will we ever again eat anything other than lasagna?”
My reaction? “How am I ever going to cook and take care of a baby? You are going to have to take care of yourself going forward.”
In retrospect, that was the day that our relationship changed forever. One day, he was the center of my work,d and then the next day, my daughter was born. He was always second from that day forward.
When my husband found a new wife, the thing that he threw in my face was that at least she cared about him. She noticed his success and made him feel loved. That was what he had been missing in our marriage more than anything: feeling important and noticed.
So, one of the most important daily habits of women whose husbands are madly in love with them is that they pay attention to them, to both the little things and the big ones.
2. Make him feel wanted
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Every single one of the men I asked what would make them the happiest said that they wanted to feel like their wives wanted them. And not just want them intimately (although that was important), but also that they found them physically attractive, and that they wanted to have their hands on them.
One man said that when his wife cuddled up on his shoulder while they watched a movie, he felt very protective of her, which he loved. One man said that every time his wife reaches out to hold his hand, he feels really good.
Another said that when she kisses him in public, he feels like she is marking her territory and proudly declaring him hers. For many men, their top love language is physical touch.
When their wife reaches out for them, to pat their back as they pass by or tussle their hair while they are watching the game, the touch causes a huge surge of dopamine, a feel-good chemical. The men feel good with this release of dopamine, and they associate those good feelings with their wives.
So you see, whether in or out of the bedroom, when a woman touches her man, he feels a rush of good feeling, one that will only keep him madly in love with her.
Research suggests that women initiating physical touch can evoke positive responses in men and contribute to building intimacy and attraction. Not all men respond to touch in the same way. Individual attachment styles, personal preferences, and past experiences with intimacy can significantly impact how men perceive and react to physical touch from women.
3. Make him feel proud to be with her
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It is very important for husbands that their wives take care of themselves. They like to see that their women are physically and mentally healthy and seeing them be that way makes them super loveable.
I am not saying that they want their wives to work themselves up into a lather making sure they are super hot for their men like our mothers and grandmothers did, but that they want to see that their wives are making an effort to take care of their physical and mental health, for themselves and for them.
This means eating well and exercising. This means taking time for themselves. This means not always putting the needs of others over themselves.
This means spending some money on a haircut or mani/pedi (or both). This means doing whatever needs to be done to take care of their mental health.
And while men certainly appreciate a woman who takes the time to look good for them on special occasions, it’s really the self-esteem that a woman who takes care of themselves possesses that they find most attractive.
A woman with high self-esteem is a confident woman. She is a woman who will be kind to her husband and to others. She is a woman who will want to reach out and touch them (and hopefully be intimate with them). She is a woman he can walk next to and be proud of.
So, know that getting yourself to the gym or taking time for yourself will not only be beneficial to you but will be really good for your marriage.
4. Make him feel useful
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Imagine if your husband insisted on doing everything, leaving you wondering what your role was in the family. Imagine him always taking charge, leaving you to follow. Imagine if he made you feel bad for everything that he does for you, even if he insists on doing it all himself.
Would that make you madly in love with him? I am guessing not. So, let him do his thing and take care of himself. And maybe even take care of you for a change.
Oh, and one more thing — did you know that when you baby your husband too much, he starts to look at you like he does his mother? Do you want him to start equating you with his mother? I didn’t think so.
Research cautions that it is important to acknowledge that not all men share the same preferences. Some men may prefer women who are more traditionally feminine and nurturing, while others may be attracted to a wider range of qualities.
5. Make him feel comfortable
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One of the seemingly most important daily habits of women whose husbands are madly in love with them is to be fully themselves and embrace an authenticity that makes both parties feel comfortable being vulnerable and emotionally open.
Keeping in mind the daily habits of women whose husbands are madly in love with them as we go through our day is a very good idea.
I know that, in this modern day, women often feel like we shouldn't need to change or do something different to make our husbands happy. That’s on them, right?
Think about it, though. Aren’t there things that you would love your husband to do every day, things that would make you feel loved and appreciated and madly in love with him? If he didn’t do those things, do you think that your marriage would hold up? Probably not.
So, make an effort every day to do the little things that will keep your husband happy and madly in love with you so that your marriage is a long and happy one.
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach who works with individuals who strive to heal their toxic relationships so they can have their happily ever after. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, Psych Central, among many others.
