3 Silent Physical Gestures That Reveal Someone Has Stopped Loving You, Says Psychology
Subtle physical clues that can signal someone's feelings for you have faded.
Eric Soubeyrand | Unsplash The ending of a relationship is difficult. But what if you can see a breakup coming? Would that make it easier? Probably not, but it's always good to preempt being dumped. What are the silent physical gestures that the end is nigh? Well, you may not spot them, but they will be there, and if you become clued in, they're like a 1980s Magic Eye picture coming into focus.
The signs a man wants his partner out of his life are often right there for you to see every day. Think of subtle breakup signs as similar to watching a foreign film; it may be confusing, but the subtitles are right there for you to read.
Here are three silent physical gestures that reveal someone has stopped loving you, says psychology:
1. They play breakup music
The music your partner decides to start playing near the end of a relationship is crucial. If you hear repeated playing of the same song, listen; it means something. Any repeated playing of songs with the words "independent," " survivor," and "you're history" should start air horns blaring in your head.
I had an ex who, near the end of our three-year relationship, kept playing Sheryl Crow's "All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun." When I didn't get the subtle reference, she combined the song with repeated showings of the film Singles. Subtle? Not really, but I didn't catch on.
Another classic breakup song that scores a zero on the subtlety scale is by The Beautiful South called "I Need a Little Time." An ex of mine turned the volume up (we were in different rooms at the time) at key lines and sang along, i.e., "the freedom that you wanted back is yours for good, I hope you're glad."
There's a significant body of research on why people listen to breakup songs, particularly after experiencing a broken heart, but little direct evidence suggests that playing breakup music causes someone to stop loving you. Instead, it's often a coping mechanism used to process emotions after a romantic relationship has ended.
2. They stop mentioning the future
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It requires concentration and focus. It involves listening to what your other half is saying to you. At all times. It also involves reading between the lines.
All talk of plans will be redundant. Try booking a weekend break for a few weeks in the future. Nope, not gonna happen.
Your soon-to-be ex will no longer ask your opinion on anything unless it's along the lines of the new apartments just built on the other side of the city or the difficulty rating in getting mail.
3. They stop touching you completely
The intimacy will begin to wind down now if it even still exists. If your partner looks blankly at the roof, walls, or anywhere but at you, bad sign.
Also, try combining the listening clue with the intimacy clue. While still embracing, use the words, "I love you." If he or she replies, "That's good," bad sign; if they have already rolled over and gone to sleep, that's worse.
If they jump up, put on The Beautiful South at full volume, and then start ranting about how love has no meaning in modern society, "look at Brad and Jennifer," then forget about subtle signs.
Of course, all of these signs do not necessarily mean the relationship is over, but they should give you a pretty good idea that something is wrong. The best way to deal with it is to break the signs down into a time scale. Have all the signs happened in the last few months?
If they have, the situation may not be irretrievable. If they have occurred within the space of the last 24 hours, then your future together does look shaky, to say the least. If you come home and find your home emptied of furniture, then the subtlety routine is over with.
And when it's all over, try and be dignified, it ended for a reason. You may be sniffling into your bowl of tear soup with the hope that he or she is feeling the same way, and one phone call or text message won't hurt, don't. Remember when you ended relationships and were secretly glad that they were over?
Research shows that intimacy extends beyond just physical affection. It also involves emotional and intellectual closeness, trust, open communication, vulnerability, and shared experiences.
That may be how your partner is feeling right now. Plus, they are probably telling their friends about all the signs they gave you that the relationship was ending. Sadly, you were just too dumb to pick up on them.
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