Fairytales Do Come True (And Other Lies Your Mother Told You)

Fairytales Do Come True (And Other Lies Your Mother Told You)

“Someday My Prince Will Come…Back”
Be honest. Are you still holding out hope that your ex may one day come back, sweep you off your feet, give you everything you ever wanted, and radically change everything about himself that didn’t work in your relationship? From getting his act together financially to learning how to be emotionally available 24/7 to loudly and proudly proclaiming his love for you in front of everyone he knows, are you putting your future on hold, praying for a miracle? Remember, I said be honest.

The good news is you wouldn’t be the first woman in history to put her fabulous future on hold in hopes that with a little time, distance, and perspective, her ex would magically discover the error of his ways, come running back, and together, you live happily ever after. The bad news is that while you’re fantasizing about your happily ever after reunion with your ex, he’s moving on without you. He’s dating other women. Even if he’s still calling you. And yes, even if he’s still sleeping with you.

Right here and now, give yourself permission to stop looking over your shoulder waiting for him to come back one last time and instead commit to yourself and what lies ahead for you.

The Curse of “The One”
IF there is only one perfect person in the world for you, what are the chances of ever finding each other? With billions of people on the planet, even with the power of the internet, what are the odds that you and this one amazing man will find one another before you’re 80 and in a retirement home? And, let’s just say you’re lucky enough to live in the same state, city, and zip code as this perfect catch. What’s the likelihood of running into one another randomly at a coffee house, wine bar, or speed dating event, recognize one another as The One, and instantly fall head over heels? Slim to none?

Slim, meet None. Here’s what’s wrong with the whole notion that there’s only one person ideally suited for you in the entire world: It’s too limiting!

Let’s re-check your reality. If you’re still holding tight to some notion that Mr. Right is out there just waiting patiently to find you, that your relationship is predestined in the stars, or that one day in the not too distant future, some guy will show up on your front door step, introduce himself as “The One,” and THEN the two of you can finally get on with your blissful life, stop right there. You’re not Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella. It’s time to wake up and burst that limiting (not to mention infuriating) bubble that says you’re supposed to wait around for some guy who’s never going to show up because he doesn’t exist. Now’s the time to cast aside your rose colored glasses, don a fabulous pair of designer shades, and jump into the 21st century with both feet!

The Bad Boy With a Heart of Gold
Here’s another maddening myth that needs debunking right now. Are you addicted to bad boys, expecting them to change their ways for you? And if so, how’s that working out? How many times have you fallen for some guy who just wasn’t into you, invested too much time, and barely escaped with a tattered heart and bruised ego?

If any of the above rings true, it’s time once and for all to face facts. Bad boys are called that for a reason. They’re B-A-D for your heart, your head, your emotions, your ego. Emotionally unavailable guys are downright infuriating. And a frog is still a frog, even if he’s a fantastic kisser. Walk away now, while your heart is intact, and break free of that Bad Boy habit – for good!

And They Lived Happily Ever After…Not!
Let’s face it. In the 21st century, being single can be brutal. That’s why it’s essential to your happily ever after future that you free yourself from the fairytale trap and any other ridiculous rescue fantasies you may be holding onto. These fantasies go something like this…

I don’t have to pay off my debt/invest in my retirement/buy a home on my own. My husband, wherever he is, will provide that for me when he finally comes along.

Sure there are things I don’t like about myself, but you know what? When my dream man gets here, all of that will magically disappear. So why put in the effort now?

All the guys I meet and date are losers. Where’s my White Knight? That one perfect guy just for me…

The truth is, life is not a fairytale. You’ve got to face yourself, your demons, and your shortcomings head on – starting today! By taking steps to become your best self, to free yourself from unhealthy emotional beliefs, and to really celebrate the beautiful woman inside of you, quirks and all, you position yourself to one day meet someone really special. However, if you choose to stay stuck in dysfunction, limiting beliefs, and poor emotional health, the likelihood of meeting and wooing someone amazing dramatically drop. The choice is yours. Now’s the time to take steps towards a healthier, happier, more realistic future.

For more on how to break free of those infuriating fairytales, pick up my book If He's Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong - and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right.

Got questions? Post them here or email me ask@lisasteadman.com.