5 Ways To Build The Kind Of Love That Lasts (And Makes You Truly Happy)

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Building A More Fulfilling Relationship
Love

What good is forever if you're not madly in love?

Getting what you need in a relationship can be tricky. Everyone loves differently, this is even true for couples who have been together for a long time.

Communicating what you want and what you need is a skill you can learn and improve on.

Use these tips on how to have a healthy relationship by building that skill:

1. Make your needs and wants known.

Decide what is important to you. Is it time spent together? Doing tasks around the house? Small acts of kindness? Tell your partner what you would like them to do.

Also, make a list of deal breakers — things that you could not ever learn to live with. Maybe you need help making dinner at least once a week or maybe you need to share bedtime responsibilities with the little ones.

Being upfront and honest about what you want and need (and knowing the difference between the two!) will get you far. 


2. Use "I" statements.

When you are talking about your feelings, start sentences with "I" instead of "you". This is not a natural way of communication, but it is a good habit to create. "I" statements allow couples to work together in a way that encourages them to express their opinions and feelings without assigning blame.

Be careful! Not all every sentence that starts with "I" is acceptable. For example, "I hate it when you ignore me" is far less effective than "I feel sad when I'm ignored." Make sure the blame is on the action, not the person.

3. Be patient. 

Being patient in a relationship is very different from being patient in everyday life. Relationship patience can feel significantly harder! If you catch yourself losing your patience with your partner, stop and ask yourself if the fight is worth the pain that will follow.

Patience can be learned and improved upon, there is hope for even the most impatient if you're willing to put in the effort.


RELATED: 5 Things People Simply Don’t Do In A Healthy Relationship


4. Learn how to compromise.

Compromise is the only way to make a relationship work. Professional, personal, and even family relationships can benefit from an ability to compromise. Compromising is an effective way to solve problems big and small.

Compromise is a choice. Sometimes you have to agree to see a movie you don't want to see and see your movie next week. Sometimes you have to give up a spacious garage for a home near good schools. Everyone wins with you put the relationship first.

5. Learn to accept some things.

Accept that you do not have control over anything other than yourself. Accept the situation for what it is. Agree to disagree sometimes. You can not control the situation, you can not control how hectic life gets, but you can control how you react to these stressful situations.

Life is not perfect. Let expectations go and deal with life's beautiful messes. 


RELATED: 9 Simple (But Beautiful) Traits Of Relationships That Lasts A Lifetime


Jane Bintz is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Marriage and Family Therapist. If you or your partner are having difficulty communicating your needs, make an appointment with a relationship therapist at Center For Change & Well-Being

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