7 Thoughts That Seem Healthy (But Actually Keep You From Finding Love)

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7 Toxic Thoughts That Keep You From Finding Love
Love, Heartbreak

These seemingly harmless thoughts can seriously block soulmate love.

Self-sabotaging thoughts affirm beliefs and beliefs lead to the choices and actions you make. And your actions create your reality. Your reality then supports your thoughts again affirming your beliefs and the cycle of not finding love in your life repeats again and again.

If you are wondering why you haven't attracted your soulmate yet, or found that healthy relationship you dream of, take a look at how your thoughts are creating your reality.

Though every small, habitual thought about your love life may not seem to be such a big deal at first, when you take a look at the big picture, you may be shocked to discover how you're unconsciously creating your reality. And it may not be the reality you want.

The following are 7 self-sabotaging thoughts that you may never have expected to block love but they do:

1. "I don't want to have to settle to be in a partnership."

All of us with love see what you did there.

Of course not. Neither did all of your happily married friends. Or any couple for that matter. This thought basically affirms that partnership equals settling. No one would be in a relationship if this were true.

RELATED: Why You Need To Stop Asking ‘Does He Like Me?' If You Want To Find Love

2. "I will be ready for love when..."

Whether it's finishing grad school or when your career takes off or when you have your own home — making your soulmate something conditional-based on whether something else happens first is unconsciously keeping your love exactly where it is...in the future.

3. "I'm not looking for anything serious right now. I just want to date to see what happens."

If you're dating and seeking anything less than the love of your life right now, you're sending two sabotaging messages.

One to the Universe that you are not worthy of your ideal love and one to anyone you date that you don't expect him to be the one.

4. "I will know him when I see him."

Though being unattached to outcomes to a certain degree is helpful when dating, just expecting your ideal love to fall into your lap without putting any focus on him in advance is a set up for attracting the wrong people — for all the wrong reasons.

5. "I don't need a man. Or anyone."

If you affirm you don't need something in your life then subconsciously you are never making space for it to be present.

RELATED: Why The Most Successful Women Struggle To Find Love

6. "I'm just too busy right now to focus on finding love."

You are affirming the belief that everything else is more important than love in your life. So what do you think will be present in your life then? And here's the truth, life never gets less busy when you're with the love of your life.

7. "Why do I have to be the one to do all of the growth or changing to attract someone?"

Keeping score is never a good way to begin a lasting, soulmate partnership. This thought is completely counter to cooperative partnerships, which require ongoing self-reflection and growth. And why wouldn't you want to experience growth or positive change if it's for the better?

Now that the light has been shed on these surprisingly sabotaging thoughts, here are the three most powerful shifts in your mindset that you can make that will magnetically draw love to you:

  • When you think of your love life, only imagine it with the highest outcome — like finding the love of your life — in mind from the beginning. Forget casual dating, forget hanging out, forget just seeing where it goes. Date for your soulmate.
  • Put the love of your life in the present tense. Love is not something out there in the future that will happen later when you are ready. Be ready now and get into the habit of putting love first now.
  • Notice and appreciate all the happily coupled people. When you place your focus on all the positive aspects of being in a happy relationship it will continually inspire you to prioritize love now, keep it out of the future, and bring it into the present.

By replacing any self-sabotaging thoughts with positive affirmations of love you will create beliefs and choose actions that will make the love of your life a reality now.

RELATED: 5 Things Women Expect From Men (That Sabotage Their Chances At Love)

Dina Robison is a soulmate attraction coach and creator of deliberate attraction online courses. Get her free video lesson The 6 Practices of Women Who Find Their Soulmate.