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5 Of The Best Christmas Presents To Get Yourself This Year, Based On Your Love Language

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The Best Christmas Gift Ideas For Men & Women, Based On Which Of The 5 Love Languages You Speak
Love, Family

You deserve it.

Oh, the joys of the holidays: the decorations, the food, and the desire to come up with the best Christmas gift ideas for all of the men, women and children on your list!

It’s a lofty goal to be that person who selects the one thing that will make your loved ones swoon with joy and realize just how much you must love and adore them.

Ah, but lest we forget that deep within your own heart, that you want to receive a perfect present, too — one that let's you know you're loved and adored.

Receiving a less-than-stellar gift doesn’t mean you are less loved than anyone else. Your loved ones may just need some help figuring out which of the five love languages you "speak" so they can get you a gift you'll find truly meaningful.

RELATED: The 5 Love Languages (And The Pros And Cons Of Each)

And in the meantime, you should feel free to get yourself your very own love language-based gift, too!

What are the 5 love languages?

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, they are the ways we express and experience love.

The five languages are as follows:

  • receiving gifts
  • quality time
  • physical touch
  • acts of service or devotion
  • words of affirmation.

Often, "lousy" gift givers have a love language other than gifts.

And let's be honest: there’s such a thing as a lousy gift receiver, too. It's not that they aren't grateful for their gifts, but they don't allow themselves to experience and receive the many gifts that populate their lives. Are you one of them?

So many women and men feel challenged by the idea of allowing themselves to receive. They look at the good things in their lives and that little voice in their head says "You don’t deserve this" or "You are so selfish" or "You are so egotistical." They tell themselves that life is pretty good and they shouldn’t desire more.

But, you are worthy of feeling both loved and accepted. You deserve to have good things in your life — whether they are material or spiritual. You deserve to have your desires become reality.

Receiving and appreciating is not selfish. Having something good in your world isn’t stealing it from another. Expressing your gratitude for your blessings and achievements is not egotistical. That's why you should indulge yourself with a little Christmas present, too — one that's exactly your style.

Here are the best Christmas gift ideas for men and women based on which of the 5 love languages they speak — and why you should totally get one for yourself.

1. Receiving gifts

Some of the best gift-givers are more like Scrooge when it comes to buying for themselves.

When was the last time you purchased something you’ve been longing for? Not just a Starbucks Holiday Flat White, but that new pair of running shoes you want? Replace that cheap purse you bought on clearance with the leather designer bag you've been eyeing.

Sometimes, you need to invest in yourself. And, darling, if there's something you really want for Christmas, buy it for yourself instead of hoping someone else reads your mind.

2. Quality time

Dare I ask how much quality alone time you allow yourself to receive? Even if it’s five minutes in the morning, you need time to just be. You need a few moments of quiet time, thinking time, and just relaxing time.

And, when it comes to loved ones, are you allowing yourself to receive quality time with them? Or is that perpetual to-do list and need to keep busy keeping you from receiving the gift of side-by-side companionship with your partner (or child or friends)?

When you take a shower, do you rush through as fast as possible to get to your to-do list? When was the last time you took a luxurious shower and lovingly smoothed lotion over every inch of your body afterward? Gift yourself with the gift of quality time to care for yourself. Allow yourself to receive your own nurturing and care.

Examine the ways that you are neglecting yourself because you just "don't have time". Maybe one of the best gifts you can give yourself this season is to allow yourself to have enough time to be you. That probably means you need to say "no" to some things.

RELATED: How To Prove You Love Him Every Day, Based On His Love Language

3. Physical touch

Of all the little ways we can receive our own nurturing and attention, think how many of those involve touching ourselves.

Smoothing lotion over parched arms and gently massaging it into your hands, washing your face, washing your hair, and washing your body — all little ways to receive your own care by focusing on being of service to that glorious body that houses your soul.

Don’t forget physical touch with others, too. Get a massage or go for a pedicure. Hug the folks you love. Reach out and hold your partner’s hand. Initiate lovemaking, especially if you feel "unattractive" and have gotten into the habit of saying "no" every time your partner suggests sex.

Allow yourself to receive the loving touch of others.

4. Acts of Service

When have you allowed someone that loves you to actually do something for you? Sure, it’s easier if you do the dishes/laundry/grocery shopping/cleaning, but can’t you just allow yourself to receive that act of service from your spouse/child/partner/friend even if they don’t do it the exact way you do?

The next time you go shopping and someone asks if they can help you, let them! Let the Bag Boy take your groceries to the car and let the waiter bring you another glass of wine or water.

And ask yourself, darling, how can you be of better service to yourself? How can you honor your own gifts? Please, my dear, allow yourself to receive acts of service.

5. Words of Affirmation

When was the last time you allowed yourself to accept a compliment? To believe what another person has said to you — from "You look beautiful" to "You are such a great cook" to "You are so wise" to "I love you." Take it at face value without adding a bunch of qualifiers or denials.

How do you speak to yourself in your own head? Does your Inner Critic run a non-stop dialogue telling you that you are dumb, fat, selfish, weird, lazy, undisciplined, and other such mean things?

Our inner voices can be so hateful. So, maybe it’s time to soften up a bit on yourself. Maybe it’s time to accept that fact that perfection is impossible.

Sometimes the greatest gift is to acknowledge your own achievements, your personal successes, and your skills. If you’re feeling parched when it comes to your own gifts, make a list of all the things you have accomplished in the last week, the last month, the last year. You do so many things you don’t give yourself credit for accomplishing.

Now that you're aware of the 5 languages of love, you probably don't need to change your approach to choosing that perfect gift for those you love.

No matter what your love language may be, channeling it can help you enjoy the holidays more. And, allowing yourself to actually receive from others helps you love your life even more.

Just remember that maybe — just maybe — the best gift you can give everyone this season, especially those people that you love, is to work on the art of receiving the goodness in your life.

RELATED: The Do's And Don'ts Of Falling For Each Love Language

Debra Smouse is a life coach and author who discovered that making sex a priority upped her satisfaction in the bedroom. For more, get her free e-book, as well as her newsletter with tips to creating a life you love.

This article was originally published at DebraSmouse.Com. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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