To Find The Right Guy You Need To F.L.I.R.T. Like A Pro

Photo: WeHeartIt 
how to flirt

It's all about how you work it, girl!

As a dating coach for people over 40, many of my clients tell me they don't remember how to flirt or that they never knew how. I say that just won't do!

To help my clients, I've created an acronym that explains what it means to flirt. Once you start using this innate feminine skill, your dating karma will be transformed!

"F" stands for Femininity.

This is your God-given ability to appeal to men. It was coded into your DNA to ensure survival of the species and the ability to attract a mate. Nothing can remove this from your being because it is part of you at the deepest level.

Unfortunately for some women, this has been buried deeply and suppressed. It has been replaced by staunch independence to survive without a partner. Self-reliance has caused many women to build up their more masculine qualities and nurture a successful career with financial independence.

This is all good stuff. Hey, as women today, we don't need men any more. We can literally do everything without having a partner, including having children. But, and this is big, if you want a man in your life, you need to be in touch with your feminine charm. Men don't want to compete in a relationship because they're seeking their biological counterpart: a feminine woman.

As a side note, "F" could also stand for "Fun" because flirting is such a blast. It's a playful, creative way to interact with men and get them to come to you by using your allure.

"L"  stands for Lovability.

Ultimately, that's what you want right? To be loved.

So, first, you'll want to be lovable. You want to embody love and exemplify the love you want, so men see you in such a light.

On the flip side, if you're angry at all men, spend large amounts of time man-bashing with your gal pals, and have lost the ability to see that not all men are the same, you do not portray a "lovable" energy. To be lovable, you need to exude warmth, a welcoming attitude, and approach life and people with an open heart. That's the only way to make a heart connection.

I'm not talking about wearing your heart on your sleeve, letting your emotions run you, or sharing your feelings prematurely. Instead, when you're lovable, you're easy to be with, kind, sassy, pleasant, open, fun, warm, intelligent — many of the qualities you already have! Couple that with an optimistic outlook on men and love, and there you are: more lovable than you can imagine.

Of course "L" could also stand for "Liberating" and a more "Ladylike" side, rather than leading with your business skills and masculine energy.

"I" stands for being simply Irresistible.

A woman who knows how to flirt and relies on her feminine charm surely is irresistible to men. When you see a woman at an event or party who is surrounded by men, she's demonstrating this ability — you can see how positively men tend to respond to this energy.

When I worked in the corporate world, I must admit I despised women who traded on their femininity for success. Decades later, I see the power and potential of doing so, and have a newfound respect for the women who know how to succeed in business and still maintain their womanhood. Today, I not only applaud this, but encourage women to do this for success in love as well.
The "I" might also stand for an "Intelligent" woman who indulges in a little flirtation because she knows she can and understands the power this aspect of her personality offers.

"R" stands for a woman who is Radiant.

This woman takes good care of herself and understands the importance of self care for building self-esteem. When you take time for yourself, you feel renewed and then have more to give back to others. Everyone wins when you take care of #1 first and foremost. 

Plus, it's no surprise that men prefer a woman who looks like she takes care of herself. Your hair has style, your makeup or face is fresh, and your clothes look great on you. Image is everything in business and in love, so be sure to portray the image you want. When you're too tired to do this or skip it for other priorities, it shows.

"R" could also stand for being "Resilient" when the men you meet don't follow through. This type of disappointment is part of dating, and rejection cannot be avoided if you want to find love. So, to become resilient and know that there are always more good men helps you not take each encounter so seriously.

"T"  stands for Tried and True Dating Strategy.

Flirting is a "tried and true" method for capturing a man's attention. It works from afar as your body language telegraphs your availability. It works up close with conversation, tone of voice, and touch that breaks the personal space barrier in a very specific way. Nothing else works quite like flirting when you're looking for love.

Of course "T" could also stand for "Tantalize", because your goal is to capture a man's attention. This is not a sleazy way of acting, but rather, an artful way to generate the chemistry sought by both genders.

So that's it! A new acronym for the word FLIRT! Femininity, Lovable, Irresistible, Radiant, and a Tried And True method.

The good news about flirting is that it doesn't require a certain body type, age, or extreme beauty. It's much more about allowing your inner beauty to shine through. Permit your feminine side to radiate your womanly allure so men will be drawn to you naturally. Now what woman doesn't want that?

Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan is the author of Is He the One? Find Mr. Right by Spotting Mr. Wrong which radically simplifies understanding men. Get more dating wisdom in her free book: 7 Dire Dating Mistakes that Keep You Single.  

This article was originally published at It's Never Too Late for Love . Reprinted with permission from the author.