Dating After Divorce: Your Expectations About Love Are Too High

Dating After Divorce: Your Expectations About Love Are Too High

You might want to cut down on your criteria for a new Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Divorce can seem like the perfect release to a chaotic marriage that is not only affecting the two of you, but your children and your careers. But after the dust settles and your heart has had some time to heal old wounds, trusting someone new is easier said than done. Where do you get the courage to put your heart out there on the line again? Honestly, it's tough to date after divorce.

Luckily, I've noticed that no matter how hard this question is, the answer comes from doing a real self-assessment to feel secure about moving on from a bad marriage. I always salute people who can seem to never have a empty home. I mean, I've tried many times to get a good woman I thought would be great to be steady in my life. In my fantasy, let's see — there's Beyonce, Rihanna, Halle Berry, Heidi Klum and Eva Longoria. But kidding aside, I find that most men and women resort to impossible fantasies and hold others up to impossible expectations (hello, celebrities) trying at true love the second time around. Personally, I beg to defer, as you read in the previous paragrapgh most of those women listed, the average guy would never meet or date just due to the reality of life.

Therefore, I say let your everyday life and those around you be the best realistic goals of interaction when it comes to dating after divorce. It may amaze you that the greatest romance that you will ever know could be across town, at the local church, working in the library or just walking in the park. In other words, life is a realm of realities of average everyday people that make social life like dating, friendship and even remarriage, something to be desired. It is not the celebrities that you should try to immulate. Truth be told, most celebrities are really trying to have your everyday life with love as a token; not a circumstance because they are celebrities. 

It stands to recognize that true love after divorce is about self-evaluation and truthfully purifying yourself of the unrealistic variables that do not qualify as love at all. It means that as long as you have someone that can accept your flaws your failures as well as your mistakes and even your life with your lovely chldren; then allowing yourself to love and give your heart to that individual may not be a bad thing at all. It all comes down to your reality and what you want and need within that will determine who and what you atrract. This will allow you to share your life even after divorce on the road to trusting yourself to find marriage and happiness once again.

Sign Up for the YourTango Newsletter

Let's make this a regular thing!

More dating after divorce advice from YourTango: