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The One Skill Every Man Needs In Order To Be A Better Boyfriend (Or Husband!)

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The Single Most Important Relationship Skill Men Need
Love, Family

It's actually kind of counter-intuitive — but is a total game-changer.

The single most important relationship skill men need is the same as anyone else — and it may surprise you. It is to be able to put your own well-being ahead of others.

Being able to do this makes you able to serve others better and to be the best you that you can be.

Self-care is the single most important relationship skill that everyone should have and practice daily. Taking time to recharge can be difficult when you are used to taking care of others or have been told, either directly or indirectly that, that is what you are supposed to do.

This skill of putting your own well-being ahead of others does not come easy to some and if you are one of these people you are not alone. Putting your well-being ahead of everything else is not selfish.

So, why do you need to do it? Why is self-care necessary on the path to learning how to be a better boyfriend or husband?


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When talking about well-being, we are talking about taking care of your health — physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Sometimes people are OK with being uncomfortable or unhappy if it means that others are fine.

The common misconception is that "It's not a big deal", but when you are the one who is always settling, it can become harder and harder to find something worthy enough for you to stand up for.

The more times that you allow others to determine your happiness the easier it becomes to believe that it's OK and maybe you don’t deserve to be happy. This can all change with the simple decision to practice the skill of self-care.

As human beings, we are responsible for our own well-being and cannot expect others to know what we need or when we need it.

As the late international author and authority on values, Steven Covey, said, "I teach people how to treat me by what I will allow." Covey believed that we teach others how to treat us and if we do not step up to this task we will not be serving ourselves fully. We will be opening ourselves up to be taken advantage of and left feeling drained.


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If you can put your own needs above others, it can make you happier and give you more to give to others than you ever could have imagined. This should not be confused with being selfish.

"Selfish" is defined as “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others” by Dictionary.com.

This is not what we are talking about when we are talking about well-being or self-care. Self-care comes from a place of self-love and acceptance it is the act of caring about yourself and making sure you can operate at your highest and best. It is purely an act of love.

When you take the time to recharge your batteries you will be able to love and support yourself and others in a more powerful and loving way. You won't be tired and overwhelmed. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to simply not do anything. Disconnect from social media, go for a walk, read a book, or go for a nap.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It can even feel like a waste of time to sit and do nothing when there are so many things that need to be done.

There are always a million and one reasons that the human brain can come up with to convince us that we are being lazy or selfish, these are self-defeating reasons that will keep us feeling exhausted and unhappy in any relationship.

However, if nobody has taken the time to emphasize the importance of having a great relationship with your self and your well-being it can be confusing.

There is not one way to take care of yourself and it is different from one person to the next and from one relationship to another.

Take a look at your life and ask yourself what is draining your energy? Then look to eliminate or limit these things. Then take a look at what activities are adding to your energy and overall happiness. And see how often you make time for these things.

By asking these simple questions and taking steps to increase your self-care you can become a better version of yourself. This can positively impact your relationships.


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Amy Elrose is a life coach and a graduate of Accomplishment Coaching.

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