Couples Describe What Wedding Night Sex Was REALLY Like

Photo: weheartit
wedding night sex
Love, Sex

"I don't know how you don't just pass out. That's what we did."

Movies tell us that wedding night sex is epic — the romance, the passion, all of it coming to a head with one big explosive night. Except that's not always the case. While there are instances where the sex can be extremely romantic, there are always exceptions to the rule.

The reality is that wedding nights are a follow-up to a wedding day, an exciting time to be sure, but also an exhausting and stressful one. You and your new husband were dealing with hundreds of family and friends, and probably a lot of related drama.

Chances are, while you are happy with the outcome (we hope!), a lot went wrong during the day, and by the end, your feet hurt, you are fatigued, and you just want to go to bed. And to sleep. Not to have sex.

RELATED: Reciting Your Wedding Vows While Having Sex Is The Hot New Thing

Of course, wedding night sex feels like something we're just supposed to do, right? Like, it is sort of what makes the whole day count? It's a conundrum. Here are some other... interesting sex stories of what happened to newlywed couples on their wedding night.

1. We reluctantly had sex, even though we didn't feel well.

"Both my wife and I had crazy bad headaches (I had retreated to the bathroom during the reception and my groomsman gave me six ibuprofen or aspirin that got me through the reception. Once we got to the room it was more like 'Okay, do you want to do this?' 'Yeah, we probably should just so we can say we did it if anyone asks.' That sounds horrible but it wasn't much more than that."

2. It was a romantic night with candles and wine.

"We were both exhausted from the wedding activities, but our hotel room had a jacuzzi in it, so we drew a hot bubbly tub, lit candles and opened a bottle of wine. It was a very romantic and lovely way to share our first night of marriage together. Our passions took over in the warm sudsy water and continued as we moved to our hotel bed."

3. We were too exhausted from the reception.

"I booked a suite at the nicest hotel in the city with champagne at the ready. Well, we never made it to the hotel until after 1 AM from the wedding reception. We were utterly exhausted after the long formal church wedding and reception, not to mention we did an all-nighter with friends and family the night before the wedding. We broke open the bottle of champagne but just had a couple of sips and then went to bed, but there were no fireworks. We had to get up three hours later to catch an early morning flight to Florida for our honeymoon. My wife who is very fair skinned went sun tanning on the first day of arrival and got severely sunburned. So, the theme of the honeymoon was 'Don't touch me... unless it's with a soothing aloe vera plant.' The seeds of no sex and romance were planted."

4. We had sub-par sex... after stuffing our faces and soaking our feet.

"We were both so tired and my feet hurt like nothing I had ever felt in my life. We also didn't eat anything so he went to a Waffle House to get some food and I soaked my feet. After we ate and before the exhaustion took over, we had sex. And it wasn't like the best sex we have ever had but there was something special about it being the end of a very special day."

RELATED: I (Heard I Had) A Crazy Sex Romp After I Accidentally Roofied Myself

5. I was too sick from my pregnancy.

"We didn't have sex because I was already pregnant and sick as a dog. The vomit sort of killed the mood."

6. The sex was amazing, even though she had explosive diarrhea.

"The wife and I got married in Thailand on the beach island of Ko Samui. After our ceremony, we had a 6-course meal paired with 6 wines. Then we went back to our room. She got into some amazing lingerie. About 10 minutes in my wife yelled at me to get off her and then sprinted to the bathroom. The sliding door slid shut and what I heard was a mix of explosive diarrhea and groans of pain. A smell met me in the bed and 10 minutes later I heard the shower come on. Five minutes after that she was back in her lingerie, elegantly slid the door open and said, 'Now, where were we?' I lit another match as she came to bed."

7. We passed right out.

"I don't know how any couple has wedding night sex. You are so exhausted! I don't know how you don't just pass out. That's what we did."

While not everyone saves themselves for marriage, watch the video below for advice on what to do before losing your virginity:


Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyles writer. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly. Visit her on Twitter or email her at alywalansky@gmail.com.