How Tinder Taught Me To Look Away From The Screen To Find Love

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Love, Self

Delete those dating apps!

I’ve never been a huge Tinder person, but you know those days when you just need an ego boost? Sometimes just swiping right and finding out someone finds you hot is a nice little pick-me-up! Not making excuses, Tinder was definitely an interesting experience for me.

At first, I did it sort of as a trial phase, since I was online dating at the time and was curious about how efficient the whole “swipe right or left” thing could be for that.

This experience was very on-again-off-again. My first round was when I got messages from a lot of creeps. The ones that want to know where you live ASAP so you can get right into their car and drive off to some hookah bar they swear is super “legit.”

Maybe I’m paranoid, but getting into a car with some (potentially horny) stranger doesn’t sound like a “legit” idea.

So Tinder and I broke up.

And if I felt like looking at what cute guys were around? We were together again. This happened a couple times, and my last time with Tinder was my best time.

I matched with a guy that was pretty cute and from what I could tell, had a good, witty sense of humor. He messaged me right away, and guess what? Turned out we had been in the same class this past term.

I hadn’t recognized him, but he recognized me, named the class and said: “You were the girl that always sat at the front of the class!”

I was SHOCKED that he would have noticed me, since I had been under the impression that every student in my classes just gave each person a glance or two without committing them to memory, other than those extra cool people with the bright purple hair and stuff.

But I specifically remembered regularly looking like shit in that class. Sweats, sweatshirt, no makeup, the whole typical sleepy college girl enchilada.

He said he had always found me attractive (upon seeing me in that class).

So of course I was like: "Well, then why the hell didn’t you ever try to flirt with me or something?

Him: I don’t really talk to people in class, and you always sat in the same spot by the same people and then would immediately leave class and disappear anyway.

Me: ...True

Two ships passing in the night, much?

We talked and flirted and had witty banter and it was fun to talk to someone that sort of knew me in person already.

Sorry to say, the end of this story does not include a boyfriend. In fact, it doesn’t even include a make-out session.

I considered it, and he was excited to do so too, since it’s not every day that you stumble upon someone on Tinder that you’ve already sorta had your eyes on. (NOT saying that I was this dude’s main class crush or anything AT ALL, BUT some level of real-life attraction had already been in place.)

The only reason I was on Tinder at that time was because I knew I was moving out of town soon, so wanted one last look at my lost opportunities. I wasn't there for any kind of relationship, and I'm not really a casual sex kind of person.

I've not used Tinder since then — and since I realized nothing beats sort of knowing someone already, right?

I’m definitely not against online dating or anything. I have plenty of friends who have found great and not so great relationships, and even I once found a relationship online.

But damn, there’s something exciting about meeting organically, about that cosmic pull, that "written in the stars" kind of thing.

Sounds obvious, right? I mean, no duh.

But for me, this was a pretty big revelation.

I’ve been so used to staying in my own little bubble, constantly keeping my eyes on the prize to the point where I practically have tunnel vision, that I’ve probably missed a lot of fun opportunities.

Who KNOWS how many guys I could have flirted with in class had I not been either actively paying attention to what was going on around me instead of spacing out in my own little world.

I’m still finding my balance between the real and digital world, but I’ve got to say, that was a MUCH needed wakeup call!