If He Doesn't Give You The Love You Deserve, Get The Hell OUT

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If He Doesn’t Give You The Love You Deserve Get The Hell Out
Love, Self

Because you're worth it.

You're in love. He's tall, dark and handsome, or short, blond and cute, or whatever combination of physique and hair and eyes makes you swoon. He's got abs to die for and pecs to get you to heaven. He's eye candy, the type of guy other girls look at sidewise when you go out. The sex is phenomenal. You've even introduced him to your parents.

He seems like the perfect man. But girl, if he doesn't give you the love you deserve, get the hell out.


To know if he's giving you the love you deserve, you first have to know what love is. Love is a mutually self-sacrificing bond between two people, held together by affection. Basically, love means you give things up and do things for one another, all while holding each other in high esteem.

You think the world of each other. You're willing to do what it takes to keep the other person happy and healthy, so far as it doesn't impinge on the bounds of your own identity. Love isn't pretending to love Phish, but it is listening to it and learning about it, even when you think jam bands suck ass.

Love means giving. Love means sharing. Love means remembering the other person's needs. This is what you deserve in a man: someone who will give themselves to you utterly and totally.

If he's isn't willing to sacrifice his wants and needs for you, he isn't worth your time. For example, when you have sex, everyone should get their cookie. It's easy to get a guy off  like putting a key in a lock. Getting a girl off is more like a locker combination. It can be easy to for a guy to thrust, thrust, thrust, be done and leave you hanging.

If he does this, he's not giving himself or his time. He's too damn lazy to figure out how to get you off. He's not worth your time.


And speaking of sex, if he relies on you for birth control, he's only thinking of himself. Birth control is a decision you make together, not that one person takes responsibility for (usually the woman). If he just assumes you'll take a pill or get a shot, tell him to get a life.

It doesn't matter if he doesn't like condoms. That's a sh*t reason to decide on birth control, and a selfish one. You're not getting the love you deserve here, and you need to kick him the hell out.

He should also show some consideration for your time and your weekends. If you're serious enough to use the word "love," you're serious enough to assume that you'll hang out on the weekends. He should know that. It's one thing to hang out with the guys once in awhile, and during the week. It's another thing for them to monopolize his time.

If he's spending all his time with the menfolk, and they're invading your apartment to watch Canadian football, then you have a problem. He's prioritizing them over you. That's not love. Love means putting you above his guy friends, at least most of the time.

Love also means putting yourself above him. That means that, some of the time, he should take care of you. If you get sick, he shouldn't be paranoid about contagion  he should be over there with chicken soup. If you had a big fight with your mom, but the big game is on, he needs to come over and make you feel better.

Would he drop everything if you had a bad day, and dedicate the rest of his to making you feel better? If the answer is no, you're not getting the love you deserve and it's time to get the hell out.

Real love is a verb. It means action, not some vague, warm and fuzzy feeling about a hottie. He can be the best-looking guy on earth but if he doesn't act like he loves you, then he's not worth your time or energy.

Go find a real man, one who will give you the love you deserve  not roses and breakfast in bed, but support when you're sad, celebration when you're happy, equal time during sex. Basically, if you aren't getting the love you deserve, get the hell out.