If I See One More #RelationshipGoals Post, I'm Gonna Lose It

Photo: weheartit
relationship goals

Why would you want to emulate a couple you know NOTHING about?

By: Kristen Bousquet

It’s basically inevitable that if you’re scrolling through your social media feeds—especially Tumblr or Instagram—that you’ll come across an image captioned #relationshipgoals. Believe it or not, there are social media accounts dedicated solely to posting images (there are currently over 1.2 million photos under the hashtag on Instagram) of cute couples who look like they’re living in a real life Disney movie and according to the hashtag, many people consider these “goals” for a future or current relationship.

From top to bottom of these feeds, these accounts post thousands of images of couples cuddling, kissing, grabbing asses, rolling around half-­naked in bed, smoking together, playing XBOX together, working out together or some in other super corny pose.

I love the idea of striving to be in a great relationship, but these so-­called “relationship goals” are just out of hand in my opinion.

Two things that really grind my gears about this whole #relationshipgoals hashtag: 1) These couples and goals are (for the most part) unrealistic and 2) you have no idea about the actual relationship that these couples are in.

The peculiar thing about all these images is that most of them include girls with long, wavy hair, perfect model bodies, and outfits that look like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine. And the guys? Obviously, all the males in the images are equipped with six­pack abs, perfect dental advertisement teeth, and perfectly groomed faces.

The fact that these images are basically just models rolling around in bed together is not what you should be basing your search for a relationship or judging your current relationship on. You should be looking for someone with a great personality, who can make you laugh and loves to be surrounded by you rather than someone who will grab your butt (only if it’s perfect though) and looks like he stepped out of a Calvin Klein advertisement. These should not be “goals”.

I know that nowadays it’s hard not to judge someone by their appearance. In many cases—with social media basically ruling our lives—someone’s appearance is all we get to see at first. While, of course, looks have something to do with our desire to be with a person, it shouldn’t be the only thing you base your relationship goals on.

No, I’m not knocking people who have goals to be in a great relationship. But many times, the couples in these photos may be living relationships that are, in fact, the opposite of the type you’d want to be in.

At best, these couples could have just made up after an intense argument about lying or cheating and then decided to cuddle up in bed together. At worst, they could be a completely fabricated couple made to look happy by a photographer in the hopes of Instagram likes. If they are actually a real couple, one party could be constantly scared about not having trust in the other or the couple could be even in an abusive relationship.

As you’ve all heard, you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover. This just as well goes for judging relationships by what they put out for you to see.

Just because these couples you see online look perfect doesn’t mean they are, and no relationship should be based off trying to model after someone else’s relationship(s). You should love someone and be with someone who you can create your own terms with and a relationship that is right should feel natural and never forced.

Seeing these images and obsessing over the couple goals you see online can also do wonders to break down your relationship. If you start seeing guys doing these super extravagant things, you might start to expect way too much. Of course, you deserve to be showered with love, gifts and attention but it can be hard in the real world for a man (or woman) to be perfect. You don’t want these insane expectations to cause you to overanalyze your relationship and make you wonder why your significant other doesn’t buy you new cars or take you on vacations across the world.

Just remember next time you scroll by someone’s #relationshipgoals post that every love is different and no couple drinking wine in a rose­-petal-filled hot tub or Abercrombie model dude holding a giant teddy bear should change that.